Remembering

My friend Anne shared with me her tradition of adopting an angel off of the Salvation Army tree each Christmas. She chooses a child with the same sex and age as her children "would have been". She lost her son to stillbirth about a month after I lost William.

I thought it was a wonderful idea. So this year while I was at the mall and walked by the tree... I stopped and read some of the angel cards. I quickly found one that matched William. I brought the card over and they assigned me this little boy.

Besides his age and sizes, I knew nothing else about the child. I read the list.... He needed a winter coat, shoes, pants shirts and pajamas. I stood there staring at the card.... trying to picture him - what he looked like what kind of personality he had, my heart broke and I stared crying. For my son, for the mother of this boy who couldn't clothe her own child. I couldn't imagine what that family must go through (not only at Christmas) but everyday just to survive.

Once the water works subsided I really enjoyed picking out all the stuff for "my angel". JC Penny was having a sale and I made out like a bandit. A coat, pants, t-shirts shorts, sweatpants, and the cutest jammies I could find... plus a brand new pair of Lightening McQueen sneakers!

I cried again when I dropped off all the stuff. I think next year I will bring Braden... I think he will understand it more and I will (hopefully) be less emotional. The lady running the tree thought I was NUTS!