I am starting to freak out over food. Every night as dinner time approaches I start to get a bit panicky about what everyone is going to have for dinner. It seems like nothing is good for you anymore, and all the stuff that is good tastes (at least to me) horrible.
It is really the boys that I worry about. I freak out about them eating too much meat, or eating too many starches or eating way too much cheese. I feel like sometimes all Tristan eats is different variations on starch and cheese. I have taken to making spinach pizzas so that he can get a veggie in at lunch time. All the things I like to eat, wraps, salads and such (which you can pack with veggies and hummus) the boys don't like eating.
Plus all the stuff that is fun to eat, which I use to reward myself with is taking its toll on me. I can't eat any sugar, or alcohol or fried stuff... they all do a number on me. I can't even eat diabetic stuff either, the fake sugar messes with me more than the real stuff.
It gets me down. I get depressed thinking about it. It reminds me of my mortality.
The most ridiculous part of it all is that I panic so much about eating at home that I don't buy any groceries so we are forced to go out to eat... and I end up eating the same crap I was worried about us eating in the first place.