First two weeks of school done. And everyday (save one) we have walked to and from school. Which means I walk up and back twice a day. This Friday I was really starting to feel it in my thighs. It really is the best workout program I could have come up with. Little Rock is great for walking... lots of hills. It takes me less time to walk to school, pick Braden up and walk home than to sit in the LONG line of cars. There is a bus service... for a fee (150 bucks per month)... so we walk.
And once again I am doing something out of the ordinary...which to me feels like the ordinary but I know it is out of the ordinary because everyday... up and back... people comment on my walking. EVERY SINGLE day... both ways.
I think they are trying to be nice and friendly. But to me it makes me feel self conscious. Most frequently people comment about how much exercise I am getting. Other times it's comments on Tristan, and how I handle him in his stroller, or comments about Braden and their amazement that he is able to 'make' the walk. Like the 10 minute walk is too long for a 6 year old.... Some ask me how far away I live. Some comment on how long I will last... saying that when it gets cold I will surely take to my car. Each week I am faced with a new set of teachers and administrators on their drop off pick up rotation. And each week I face another round of questions and comments.
And all of this is just a reminder that I am different. It is an affirmation about something I feel every time we move and meet new people. I am different. I can't blend in, I stick out. People remember me. I've felt it my whole life. For years I was told to stop this 'type of behavior'. That there was something inherently wrong with myself, my thought process and my instincts. That because I was the only one doing it (perceivably)than everyone else was right and I was wrong.
I tried for years to be like everyone else... and lost myself (and a lot of time) in the process.
Truly there really isn't that much different about me. It is just that somehow I stick out as the only person doing whatever it is that I am being noticed for...
I KNOW I am not the only person who ...
has lost a mother
is an only child
father works from home
sings dances and acts
goes to a boarding school
has red hair
dates someone long distance
moves out of state after graduation
marries into the military
marries their high school sweetheart
is NOT from Texas
is a vegetarian
who travels with their kids
who looses a baby......
But I am proud of myself that I have kept up walking everyday... it certainly would be much easier to sit in the car and do bills and make calls... or even read a book for 45 minutes. It is something that I believe is good for me, and Braden. And I think will pay off in the end... not only health wise, but money wise and time wise. Plus... we get to walk side by side holding hands and talk all the way home... for those 15 minutes he gets my undivided attention as he talks about his day and his feelings and his friends.