I overheard a conversation at the movies this weekend... This young guy was saying something like " That company is really doing great business... it is such a hit with middle aged housewives!"

I knew what company he was talking about... because while waiting for the movie to start we were treated to a certain paint commercial, staring a friend of mine wearing a t-shirt advertising a certain workout program that she runs.... and he is right, it is VERY popular...

But I would have finished that sentence a bit differently .... I would have said, young moms, or ladies, or maybe just the word friends... but housewives? I felt my insides cringe.

I have not used that word to describe myself EVER. Most of the time I say homemaker...some times I say stay at home mom.... sometimes military spouse/wife.....

I don't know anyone who refers to themselves as that any more.

Housewife sounds to me like a type of caged animal. One without any duties or responsibilities apart from serving and pleasing the master.

But the real question is, why did that comment upset me so much? What does it say about me that I reject that label. Why do I concern myself with other people's opinions ?

I think it stems from feeling remorseful about how ignorant I was when I was young. No appreciation for others and their experiences...

I think that I thought I would be doing more, or have accomplished more by now. Every now and then I feel so useless.... that I have nothing to offer. I think I reject the idea/connotation of housewife because I feel like I can't live up to those standards. I don't clean well, nor do I decorate my home well.... I don't have a flair for fashion, or make up or perfume.... I am certainly not as well educated as some of my friends who have either earned their masters or doctorate. I don't budget well, cook that wonderfully and have a tendency towards laziness....

And then I think... maybe this IS what that guy meant by 'housewife' maybe it WAS intended to be negative....

In the end, either way you look at it, I understand that it really has nothing to do with HIM.... and everything to do with how I feel about myself... Someday I might just figure it out!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear J,

Your deep concern for people you know and even those you don't should weigh more heavily in your appraisal of self.

I think you're quite a treasure.

"A beautiful and unique snowflake -just like all the other millions of snowflakes"