4.12.2009

arriving and finding comfort

Yesterday, in the early afternoon the boys and I landed in New Orleans. It was once again time for our yearly trip to the Big Easy. My Aunt and Uncle are as close to me as my own mom and dad. If I had to call someone mother it would be my Aunt Karen...and I love my dad, but Uncle John is a CLOSE second! And after the hectic-ness of the move we were ready ( at least I was ready) for a break!

On the way home from the airport in the car my uncle asked about the move and how I was feeling about leaving William. For those of you who don't know, William was cremated and we buried his ashes in a small flower bed under the tree in our back yard (four years ago this week). Tears immediately began to weld up in my eyes. The mere sound of William's name on my Uncles lips brought forth much validation and comfort all at once. I told him that on some days it is hard, and other days not so much. He said "I still miss the people I have lost, so I assume you still miss William." It was all I could do not to cry and sob on his shoulder. To know that my loss and grief 'counted and mattered' in his eyes meant a lot to me.

I pulled myself together as we turned down Saint Charles Ave. The houses were big and beautiful, the lush green grass, bold colors of flowers and TALL trees set me at ease. We pulled up to the house, and as Braden climbed the wooded stairs on the southern style front porch and my Aunt creaked open the screen door with a big smile on her face, I just knew it was going to be a great trip.

2 comments:

Nora said...

Of course it matters. William matters to you, & to those who love you. He matters because we loved him before we met him, and carry the loss of that love with us, always. April is bittersweet for me. I have Ivan's birthday, Owen's birthday, my "real" anniversary... & then I have William. NEVER think for one second that you are alone in missing or loving him...*hugs*

Dava Lynn said...

Not for one second!! Praying for you!