more reflections

A friend told me that she thinks I am 'older' than most 33 year olds.... I guess because of all the stuff I have been through... I guess so.... but I don't necessarily think I am more mature... I am still pretty self obsessed.

But after our conversation I started to think about that post I wrote about having Mason in my life longer than my mother.

I know some people say that no one is closer than a husband and wife.... but I would argue that some siblings are pretty dang close.... there is a special bond you have with someone you grow up with.

That is why I wish there wish there was a word I could use to describe how I feel about Mason.... we are not siblings, but I feel we are MORE than husband and wife....I know that sounds sort of weird.

In some ways I do feel like I am 70 years old..... a time in your life when your parents are gone, friends are few and all you have is your spouse.... and you have shared more than half of your life with that one person....

I already feel like that with Mason... because I HAVE spent over half my life with him there....

The only phrase I can think of is from that movie the Butcher's Wife... with Demi Moore... where she talks about 'split aparts'. How, before we were even born we existed as 1 celestial being and then when we become human we are "split apart" from the other half of us - which is our one true love that you are meant nay destined to be together with....

That is how I feel... that he is a part of me and I am a part of him.

No comments: