This weekend I picked up a project I have been working on for a while now. The task of organizing my Mother-in-Laws pictures. ALL of her pictures.
On Sunday I found this one. I didn't even remember it being taken. It was late December of 1999, just before Christmas. A whole bunch of family were in Charleston for Mason's commissioning into the Air Force. You can see my Auntie's jacket in the lower right hand corner. I can't remember why we were on the beach.
What struck me about this photo, is that 1.) I don't remember it being taken 2.) It feels SO long ago 3.) I look so happy.... SO very happy. I was young, and thin and about to marry the man of my dreams. And for that moment on the beach, the picture captures my complete contentment.
I know for a fact that my life was just as messy and complicated (for different reasons) than it is now. But my memories of the past are not rough waters- they are still pools ..... I feel like everything was always better 'back then'. Which means the present that I struggle with will be the 'better back then' of tomorrow....
I am always thinking of a way to 'go back'. I day dream about what day what year I would like to relive again. What if I could go back in time knowing what I know now. What if I could run into my mom on the street in the 70s... what would I want to know...
Why can't I live in the now... be happy with the now....? What is it about the memory of the past that distracts me.
3 comments:
Beautiful pic. You do look so happy. I have a hard time not living in the past so I can relate.
You're not alone. I think we all live in the past to some degree. I am just as guilty as the next guy when it comes to "the grass is always greener" syndrome. If there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be to leave the past to happy memories and cherish the now. If anyone out there has a good grasp on how to go about doing this... Let me know!
My difficulty isn't the past, it was far to hard, it is with the future. I always want what is just ahead, just out of reach. It's the same thing just in the opposite direction. Be grateful for this day. But I know that is easier said than done.
Post a Comment