the new system

We have a new privilege system around the house most recently. The old responsibly chart that I stole from Annie, although had the best of intentions - it didn't really work well at our house. So after a year of it hanging on the wall collecting dust I decided something had to be done.


I loved the top part of the board. 7 different responsibilities can be listed, there are a whole host to choose from, plus a couple of blank bars to write in what you need. For each task that he completes on his own, WITHOUT multiple reminders or whining, he receives a "smile".
Each night before bed with go through the chart and "put up our smiles" for that day.

If he gets all 7 smiles (meaning he did all the tasks on his board) he receives 3 tokens. (wooden circles with a magnet glued on the back that I decorated) Each token represents a privilege. They include: TV, Movie, Computer Time, Video Game Time, Electric Car Time, moderately junky Snack (gold fish, Cheetos etc), Extra Book at bedtime (he already gets 2) and a Green Heart.

The hearts are green because green is his favorite color. The heart tokens cannot be earned from anything on the board. They are reserved for me and Mason to give out when we see something that we feel should be rewarded. For example: yesterday we (meaning I) woke up very late and had to hustle Braden around so we could get out the door on time. I when I mean we were late...I mean LATE!!! We rushed through everything. I was calling out orders to him from other rooms.... that kind of late. He obey everything single task that was asked of him. He didn't stall, whine or argue. THAT deserved a green heart.

Note: he can only earn two green hearts per month - one from me and one from Mason. Green hearts are redeemable for a special treat. A trip to Taco Bell - a movie at Blockbuster - a piece of candy or ice cream whatever... This way Mason and I can limit ourselves too. With only one a piece to give out a month we really have to deem something pretty worthy.

Tokens (or coins as he calls them) are awarded nightly. After he puts up the 'smiles' I get out the token box (not pictured) and put up 3 tokens (if he got all 7 smiles). 6=2 tokens 5=1token and 4 or less receives no tokens.

There are 3 tv movie computer video game electric car tokens each. Which equals out to 2 units of screen time each day. Once a token is used up it goes into the "redeemed" box and waits there until a new week starts. That way there is no repeats or overlaps. If he uses all his computer tokens up - then he has to wait until next week to earn more.

This systems eliminates 2 problems that we were having around the house.

1) me repeating myself over and over , Braden whining and stalling, then me coming over and doing it for him (teeth brushing, cleaning up his toys, getting dressed)

and

2) Everyday he would ask me too: watch TV or a movie or have a snack or use the computer etc etc. Some days I would say yes. Some days it was a no. I didn't feel Braden was learning anything about managing time and privileges

Now he can physically see what he has 'earned' and what he can 'spend'. Once it is used up he has to wait.

When he sits down to the computer or picks up his video game the timer is set and the activity has a beginning and an end (which before it could be dragged on and on - there really isn't ever a stopping point when it comes to computer/video games).

No longer am I hounded day in and day out for chips, cheddar bunnies or granola bars or Cheetos.

Braden took to the new system immediately. He lights up when he puts his smiles up and then when I dole out the tokens. This is week 3 on the system and it has reduced whining, stalling and fighting down to almost zero. When he starts balking at a task that I have asked of him (liking cleaning up his toys) I respond " Okay, you can make the choice not to clean up, but then we can't put a smile up on the board." Usually that is all I have to say to get him to change his mind about his decision.

There also was one time where he didn't want to brush his teeth. Okay, no smile, one less token. No fighting, or yelling. Just simple a simple choice and the consequence of the choice was learned. I have learned that you really can't MAKE a kid do something they don't want to do. Well, I guess you can if you resort to bribes or spanking. But I felt neither were good habits to get into.

I am sure the responsibilities and tokens will change over time. I am also not sure how this will be used when it comes to allowance next year. I haven't decided if I want to reward chores with money or not....

But Amanda asked me to post about it - so here it is in all its glory :-)