my agenda....

I have an agenda. I didn't realize that I did for a long time, but spending a year and a half in therapy teaches you a lot about yourself. So I now understand that I have an agenda. I really have to work hard at NOT pushing my ideas and beliefs on other people (Dee & La Rae quit laughing). I have learned that people like to share THEIR ideas too... I have to remember that not every conversation has to be an intense educational exchange of ideas.

I have been working hard at modifying my behavior. I want to be a good listener, a loving and compassionate person and a supportive friend.

I've been working hard.... but sometimes I slip. Yesterday I slipped.

While at the Grace Museum I ran into an acquaintance that I had not seen in a while. She and I have mutual friends and she was apart of MOPS last year.

We started chatting about babies and kiddos, specifically about their sleeping. She started to tell me about her 21 month old son... that he climbed out of his crib and now that he is in a big boy bed he won't nap or sleep. She recounted her frustration and her inconsistent methods of dealing with the problem. She admitted that she and her husband disagreed how to handle the situation.

And so on and so forth.

But what I heard was a woman who was unsure of herself and that she was relying on others to make the decisions for her BUT she really didn't feel comfortable with those decisions.

And before I could stop myself I opened my big mouth. "This is what I would do....." "You really should......" " I don't think......." "I never......" blah blah blah and on and on....

In my head I justified my words and actions. She should learn that she has power and choices. That she doesn't need to do something that she is not comfortable with..... etc etc etc

But what she really needed was a friend to listen... and I failed her. When I got home it hit me, and I felt (and still feel) horrible.

This is my testimony and my apology to you all and her. A reminder of how flawed I am, and how much farther I have to go......