What NOT to say....

You can always have another.
You’re still young enough to have more children. They don’t want a different child they want this one.
Now you have an angel looking after you. They don't want an angel, they want their baby back.

Your baby is in a better place now.
Don’t worry, you’ll see him again.

At least you didn't know your baby. Whether you held your baby in your arms or only in your mind, this baby is real.

Have you ever thought of not having children? Yes, it has crossed their mind.
Be grateful for the children you have. It isn't a question of being ungrateful or not appreciating what you have.

At least you still have your other child.
At least he didn’t suffer.
It was God's will.
It was meant to be or it was for the best.
Time heals all wounds.
It could have been worse...
You will get over this in time...

I understand how you feel. Even if you have had a miscarriage, every one feels their grief uniquely. (While you could very well share similar situations, each person grieves differently) Avoid telling them about other miscarriages - Avoid telling them about other people's tragic losses during this time, or making comparisons to other people who have also lost pregnancies. They have enough of their own feelings to deal with.


The number one thing NOT to say.... that EVERYONE says:
“Call me if you need anything” or "Let me know if there is anything I can do for you."

Although it might sound like the right thing to say, it is taken as a nice, but rather empty gesture. The problem lies with the fact the grieving person/persons is really not sure themselves what is needed to be done. And the things that they DO have to get done are almost impossible to think about (caskets, funeral arrangements, what to tell their surviving children, what to say in the obituary). Having to name something or the pressure of deciding yes or no can be overwhelming. Also, it is said as a exiting statement, no phone number is given either. Plus most people will not pick up the phone and ask someone to come do something for them. It feels like an imposition. Instead talk with someone who IS helping in organizing care for the family and tell them to call you when there is a need to be filled and then give them your number.