Oh... well now you tell me.

I have no idea what its like to be REALLY different. I am not a person of color, a non-English speaker, gay or disabled. I am now just understanding some of the problems all of these people face. If you have not experienced hate or exclusion before, then it can be hard to understand that it exists.

But it does. And for a brief millisecond in my life I got a very small taste.

In the summer of 2005 I had just had and lost William. I had gained about 35 pounds with his pregnancy and with no one to nurse coupled with eating for comfort I was still carrying around extra weight. So much weight in fact that my wedding and engagement ring no longer fit.

Mason was deployed and I set off traveling the US with Braden.

I had been traveling with Braden for over a year. Wearing my wedding ring and being pregnant i received wonderful treatment from almost all I met. If it happened to be mentioned that my husband was in the military I received even more niceness.

*side note: I am proud of what my husband does for a living, and I am appreciative and grateful for all the love support and prayers from friends family and strangers.
I can remember once traveling through from St Louis to Little Rock and stopping for lunch. A man had over heard a conversation I was having with the waitress, in which I mentioned my husband was military. A while later I got up to use the rest room. When I got back and was ready to leave I asked for my bill... the waitress informed me that while I was in the rest room "that gentleman over there paid it for you with thanks for your family's sacrifice".
I was floored. I was immediately humbled and bowled over by this mans generosity. It was a very moving moment and I will never forget it.

But this particular summer I had no ring on. Nothing to let people know that I was married to a wonderful man who just happened not to be there at the time.

You might not believe me, but people treated me different. They didn't fawn over Braden like they usually did. People didn't smile and ask questions. I thought that I was making it up in my head. I thought it was just because I was no longer pregnant...but then I noticed something. When those exact people who would avoid eye contact with me found out that yes I was married their attitude changed on a dime. In a split second they were regular normal and kind to me. They would give me this look like "Oh, well now you tell me, that changes everything!"

It was the oddest experience. It made me angry to think that people were judging me based on looks/appearance alone.

Like the kind man in the restaurant, I have never forgotten what that summer of travel taught me. A small small lesson in human behavior.