Birth - a very long post....

Braden was born 4 years ago yesterday. His birth story is very long.

At the time we lived on base at Scott AFB in Illinois. Earlier in the day I had been to the commissary. I was asked by the cashier when I was due. "Two days ago"I answered with a look on my face that stopped him in his tracks. He rang up my groceries in silence. Like all babies, everyone was waiting (impatiently I might add) for this one. Everyone was on standby. My Aunt who was to help me after I came home was hanging around Chicago waiting for the call. My parents were waiting for the call... Mason's work was waiting for the call.

On June 26th around 10pm I was on the phone with a friend when I felt a bit of warm water. Just a bit, mind you. Mason had been flying that night and had just arrived home. " I think I am leaking water" I said. We knew that first labors were long, and that they were slow to start. So we were excited but not frantic. I called my doctor. He wanted me to come in to check to see if it was indeed amniotic fluid. We called my parents just to let them know we were heading to the hospital for a check. We gathered up my junk (just in case) and headed out to the hospital a little after 11. I had never been a patient in a hospital before. I was unfamiliar with the SLOWNESS that is the norm in hospitals. I guess because on TV everyone runs around at break neck pace I just thought that is the way it would be in real life. But no... nothing close. Checking in (I was already pre-registered) took at least 20 minutes. Which at the time I kept thinking, thank goodness I am not in real labor. I was trying to imagine being in active labor and being treated so causally (almost if I was a bother). We went upstairs (which we had visited a few week previous) and was taken to our room. "Change into your gown and sit on the bed" I was told curtly by a nurse. I didn't yet understand that they were "booking me in". I thought I was coming for a quick doctor visit. I told her I wanted to remain in my own clothes (sweats and a t). She tried briefly to change my mind, and when she realized she wasn't being effective she gave up and walked out. So Mason and I sat down to wait. And wait we did. Over the course of an hour and a half random people came to my room with more paperwork, a few wrist bands, a bunch of blood draws until finally the fluid check.

Then at 1am my doctor showed up. Dr. Brent Smith. A wonderful family practice resident that I found within the Tric-Care system after the midwife I had left. He told me "yes, it was amniotic fluid" and yes I was having mild contractions" He assumed my water had broken and He gave me three choices 1. Started inducement right away... 2. Go home and wait....or 3. do nothing but stay in the hospital. This type of approaching things was one of the reasons I liked Dr. Smith. He always gave the range of choices or ideas, from the strict medical to the crunchy naturalist... I picked number 3 - do nothing and wait. I sent Mason home to get some sleep.

I woke up Thursday morning around 6am with steady contractions. Every five minutes or so. They were pretty mild. But 8am Mason had arrived and the doula that we had hired. All day Thursday I labored lightly. I was up walking around. I was still in my own clothes doing squats, rotating my hips and sitting in bed. I was eating full meals too. My doctor had allowed me to do this. I ate lightly, but real food. I can remember having a baked potato from Wendy's for lunch. Although I can't remember what I had for dinner. It was a long day of hard work and waiting. Calls came from my parents wondering what was going on. My Aunt who left Chicago earlier in the day had arrived at our house was wondering what was happening.

On and off throughout the day I had random doctors coming in and asking if I wanted pitocin. They would gently push the issue every few hours. They said it would would be "no big deal" and that it would significantly speed up the process. Every time they came in I would decline, and they would leave shaking their heads. My own doctor was supportive in every way regarding my choices. Every time I would consult with him, he reassured me and told me it was my choice.

Since they thought my water had broke no one was checking my dilation for fear of infection, so none of us knew how far along I really was. By that night I was worn out (completely) and I asked for something to help me sleep. At night my contractions were coming every 15-20 minutes. I lay on my side trying to sleep while Mason and the doula took turns applying pressure to my lower back. As you can imagine... no one slept.

By 4am I was done.... I was so tired that I didn't think it would be possible to labor for a whole other day and not have the baby at the end of it. So I made the decision to have the pitocin. It took the staff 3 hours to get the whole pitocin line set up. Gone went my regular clothes, on came the hospital gown... gone went the real food in came the ice chips and saline bag. 7am Friday morning... here we go! And finally a dilation check... 3cm. "What? 3cm? That's it? I couldn't believe I had labored for over 30 hours and only progressed to 3cm. I was now a patient. I was hooked up to multiple machines. I felt like an octopus with all my 'tentacles' coming out of my arms and body.

Every 20 minutes someone would come in and increase the pitocin. I have no idea what unit of measurement is, but the numbers increased by 2 each time.

2...4...6...8 The contractions were regular and much more painful. I sat on the edge of the bed leaning on Mason. I stood with each contraction.

Suddenly I found myself standing for more than a minute... 2 minutes 3 minutes. The contraction would not stop. "Something is wrong" I whispered to Mason, who pushed the call button. The nurses came in a minute or two later. My uterus was reacting to the pitocin, so much so that I had a 6 minute long contraction. Off went the pitocin.

We took a break from the pitocin for about an hour. Then we started again. Then they took us off. Up a little down a little.... back and forth... Then nothing. No contractions. It was like my labor had completely stooped. They jacked me up to a 20... still nothing.

It was now about 3pm. Another check. " Um, doctor..?" the nurse said while fingering me "I think her water is still intact."

WHAT???? REALLY???? ( I should have chosen door number 2).

Break went the water.... in came the PAIN. It was 4 in the afternoon. We been in that room for over 42 hours. There was no window. We had already cycled through 4 nurse rotations.

Breathing, rocking, standing, sitting. Breathing, rocking, standing, sitting. Over and over and over again. The pain increase. It was crazy pain. Unmanageable pain. No hot sock or foot rub or bathtub would have helped. My doula who I had hired so that I could have a natural birth in a hospital became useless. In fact, she was useless for the whole episode. There wasn't one thing that she did to make anything more helpful. She basically stood around. At one point. When the pitocin was up very high and the contractions had stopped, there was talk of a c-section. She started crying. Telling us the story that the last birth she had been at that turned into a c-section the baby had died. (I ended up reporting her to DONA to have her certification revoked. It took almost 2 years. Thankfully she is no longer listed on DONA.)

The pain was so intense that I could no longer focus. I asked for some drugs. They gave me staydol. Staydol did not take away the pain. It relaxed my body so that I was no longer tense, but I couldn't pick my arm up either. I was unable to move and the pain was still there.

2 hours later I asked for an epidural. I had been so afraid of an epidural that I hadn't prepared at all for one. I knew nothing about it, but at that moment the pain was so intense that if they said they were going chop my foot off with a blunt axe to stop the pain I would have let them.

Suddenly there were bright lights, people running around, and consent forms to be signed. Lie on your side... arch your back like a kitty (what?) hold still. I was screaming, Mason was holding me in position I could hear voices talking to me, talking to each other. I couldn't see very well, and the drugs they had given me made me feel loopy. I had no idea what was going on. All I felt was pain. PAIN!!!

And then, it was gone. I lay back and closed my eyes and passed out. My doula sat next to me eating Cheetos.

At 8:00pm I woke up. I said it felt like I had to go the bathroom (which I knew I needed to push). I was checked, I was fully dilated. It took about an hour for everyone to set up for me to push. AN HOUR!!! And then it was time. A couple of practice pushes, trying to find my muscles. A wonderful nurse gave me the directions "push angry" . I understood completely. I remembered my friend Amanda giving me the advice. Push hard from the get go. Every time give it your all. And I did. I pushed for about a half an hour. I can remember once his head was out , I knew it was over. The head is always the hardest part.

Braden was perfect and beautiful. He had an APGAR of 10! All pink with flawless skin.

I was in the hospital a total of 5 days. I was just about nuts when I left. All my patience with the medical system had worn out.

My doctor had fought very hard for me to have a vaginal birth. He later told me that every time he left my room there were other doctors and nurses telling him that he was making a mistake and that something was going to go wrong with either me or the baby. Dr. Smith stayed at the hospital the whole time I was in labor. He slept overnight in a spare room. He told me later that he was doing a case study about my L&D. That he felt the medical community would benefit from hearing about our experience.

As for my doula, Barb Huffmier the best thing she did for us was capture our first moments as a family on film.

If I had known This or This I think my experience would have been quite different.