Expectations - by Melody Beattie

Most of us have expectations. We entertain certain notions, on some level of consciousness about how we hope things will turn out or how we want people to behave. But it is better to relinquish expectations, so we can detach. It is better to refrain from forcing our expectations on others or refrain from trying to control the outcome of events since doing so causes problems and is usually impossible anyway. So where do we go with our expectations?

Some people strive to relinquish all expectations and live moment to moment. That is admirable. But I think the important idea here is to take responsibility for our expectations, Get them out into the light Examine them. Talk about them. If they involve other people talk to the people involved.Find out if they have similar expectations. See if they are realistic. For example. expecting healthily behaviour from unhealthy people is futile; expecting different results from the same behaviors is insane. Let go. See how things turn out. Let things happen - without forcing. If we are constantly disappointed, we may have a problem to solve - either with ourselves, another person or a situation.

Expectations are only expectations and they belong to us, and we are not always the boss. We can make sure our expectations are realistic and appropriate and not let them interfere with reality or let them spoil a good time.

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