I just stumbled onto this phrase/idea/philosophy. At first I agreed with a lot of what the author was saying about respecting our children not manipulating them with 'false' choices and focusing on the positive of our everyday experiences instead of dwelling on the negative. As I read more though I started to find I was disagreeing with a core concept.
The 'have tos'. The article states that we limit ourselves and our children when we succumb to the 'have tos'. Kids 'have to' eat at dinner, share that toy with their friend, or go to bed at 8 etc etc.
Now I am all about allowing Braden to have choices when it comes to eating, or if he is cold and doesn't want to wear a jacket... I will even bend on the sharing part - because he will learn quite quickly the consequence of not sharing with friends.... BUT (and this is a big but) I take HUGE exception to the argument that kids can sleep when they are tired and choose when to brush their teeth.
I know that may sound silly - and I know that Braden can choose if he brushes he teeth or not... BUT their will be consequences.
I guess technically none of us humans "have to" brush our teeth... but good golly we certainly know that it a very very very smart idea. Besides the cosmetic and hygiene issues - we know so much more about oral health and how it can adversely effect our heart and other areas of our body.
Do I like brushing my teeth... not really - did I do it as much as I should of when I was a kid? NO... did I get lucky that I didn't get any cavities or have any other issues ... HELL YES!
I hate to disagree with such an enlighten way of thinking and I may just be putting my ignorance on display here (so please correct me if I am wrong) .... but I think there are at least a FEW have tos in this world - maybe not everyday or twice a day... but there are somethings things that whether you like it or not just have to be done.......
1. clean up puke poop or pee if it is in on or around a living space
2. don't poop where you eat
3. wash your hands at least once a day or after dealing with sickness or poop or puke
4. don't stand in the sun unless you want to burn.
5. don't stand barefoot in the snow - you 'have to wear shoes'
6. you can't walk through glass without any sort of protection either....
7. you can't drive blind
8. two men can't create a baby - you 'have to' have a woman involved somewhere
9. you can't walk into traffic and not get hit by a bus - you 'have to' watch where you are going
10. YOU HAVE TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH
if I have missed something here... please let me know.... and if anyone has a really enlighten AP unschooled consensual living way of getting their kids to brush their teeth without have tos or manipulation or force I am ALL EARS!