Leaving on a Jet Plane

Sorry, couldn't think of a better title. I really don't like that song... anyway.

I step out the door in an hour to fly to Vegas. I packed and cleaned last night. I set out my clothes for the trip and my bag with my book and ipod. I stood there staring at my stuff. Something felt wrong. I kept thinking I was forgetting something. What was it, what was I forgetting? I kept walking back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom. What was it... DANG!?

Then I realized NOTHING. I hadn't forgotten a thing...! It was just I didn't need so much junk since I was flying by myself! It was sort of sad.

I know I know... I said that I wasn't going to get sad....that I was so excited to go - which I am... but Braden is fun and easy to travel with. And for the past 6 months he has been my constant companion... it just seems weird that after the past 3 years I am flying without him.

For the past 2 1/2 months I have been pumping and getting Tristan use to a bottle ... and then pumping some more.... and pumping some more! I started pumping and storing my milk from the start (since I knew I was coming on the trip.) I needed 8 bottles of 8 ounces each. But now T is down to 3 bottles a day, so I only needed 6 bottles...

I looked at the bottles all lined up in the fridge this morning. They really didn't look like much. But man oh man did those little bottles represent SO MUCH.

So much work to pump a few ounces a day. All the hours that went into collecting all that milk.
and now so much emotion to leave my little guy.

Our babysitter is WONDERFUL. Both of the boys love her. I think Cara is the only person that T will go to from me willingly and happy. But as I stood there looking at that milk. I thought of my little guy, so vulnerable and helpless.

Alright, that's all the mommy sadness for now...

I am out of here! WHEEEEEE!!!!!