I like to debate...
My father calls it arguing (I disagree) ... he has tried (ever since I can remember) to get me to stop... unless the questions were about something he liked and wanted to talk about.
He would say "there is just no winning with you" or "you just want to be right". So I quit asking questions. It was my way of learning... I wish sometimes that my father had encouraged my interest and helped me learn how to focus it in a positive way.
I like understanding why people make the choices they do. I want to truly understand. So I ask questions.. too many questions. I disagree and push (I like to think of it as challenging) against ideas. I like to share my opinions AND be challenged about them.I have ticked off quite a few people who were not ready for a 'confrontation' as such.
It never occurred to me that some people enjoy quiet easy conversation free of controversy and emotion or that it is not considered good form to tell someone else why you think they are wrong:-)
Over time and with lots of love from my friends I have been trying to learn when and where and with whom I can have this type of discourse. I think each turn of the globe I get a bit better and a bit more sensitive to people and social situations.
My oldest friend is a lot like me. So much so, that when we were younger we fought endlessly. But now as adults and moms we are closer than we have ever been. The other night Tasha and I were talking about racial sensitivity training in our public schools. We had a differing opinion on expectations from teachers and administrators. It got pretty heated... so much so that the next day I got worried that I may have gone to far...
I should have known better.... Tasha sent me an email which summed me/the situation perfectly....
No hard feelings here. I need to be reminded of what the more mainstream point of view is, it helps keep things in perspective. And one of the reasons we are probably still friends is that we both have our own opinions--and can hold them. My mom said she didn't feel there is "room" to challenge me. I said, "I can't give you permission to have your own opinion."
Either you got it or you don't--and you girl have got it.
Tash - I love you too! You made my day!