Happy Birthday to me!

This is me on the day I was born...

I was born at home at 9:32am Maryland with a doctor, nurse, practitioner and the family dog Lady in attendance. Dad was there too.

Having a birthday on Valentines Day has always been interesting. Sometimes they have been great, celebrating with friends, big parties with hearts everywhere. Some of them have been crappy. Like the ones when I had bad boyfriends or worse NO boyfriends :-). People are always intrigued with the fact that my birthday falls on the 14th.

My last two birthdays have been very happy ones. But there once was a time that my birthday made me sad. They made me sad because they reminded me of my mother. It started the second year of my marriage. Even among the flowers and chocolates and gifts (my hubby is a keeper) I found myself getting more depressed each year.

The worst birthday was when I was pregnant with Braden. That year all I was focused on was "what HIS birth day was going to be like" "what labor and delivery were going to feel like". As a first time pregnant lady there was nothing that consumed my brain more than the thought of LABOR!

My own mother and father had over the course of my life told me MY birth story many many times. It was always interesting and fascinating, even when I had it memorized. I wonder why that was?

The night before I was born my parents were at Friendly's Restaurant in the mall. Mom had a hot fudge sundae to celebrate. (the ice cream was mentioned because Mom had abstained from sweets during her pregnancy) Mom started feeling funny later on that night and ended up throwing up the sundae. They called the doctor. The doctor though she had the right directions to the house... but didn't - and ended up driving around my parents neighborhood knocking on doors (at 2am) trying to find my parents. The practitioner was called and arrived too. And then everyone waited. (this was my favorite part of the story as a little girl.) And they waited and waited and waited. The doctor went to lie down in the guest room.... the practitioner laid down on the spare couch in the den and my father laid down (and fell asleep) on the floor next to my mom lying in bed!!! A few hours later she woke my dad up to tell him it was "time". Everyone started scrambling around and the doctor orders the practitioner to go boil some water. The practitioner leaves and comes back 20 minutes later carrying a hot tea service tray (I kid you not!) I was born. I cried out and my dog growled. They lay me down with mom and Lady came over to sniff me... she gave me her seal of approval!

And while being pregnant myself I had thought many times about what Braden's birth story would be like. I centered that whole day around me and what I was going to have to go through and how it would affect me. Truth be told I didn't think to much about Braden in all of that. He was little more than a concept to me at the time. I remember telling my friends that on kids birthdays we were really the ones that should be getting the gifts and attention.

So that birthday(2003) was heartbreaking for me. And so was the next(2004) .... It wasn't until Braden turned 1 that June and I stood in the kitchen lighting his candles on his cake that I realized " I was so excited to celebrate Braden and HIS big day"! The course of the year had turned me into a real mom. I was horrified at my own thoughts of getting presents and celebrating me - what a ridiculous idea. I was all about Braden that day and EVERY day.

The spell was broken - the curse lifted... my next two birthdays were FABULOUS!!!

Today this birthday is wonderful too.... no fancy plans, no dinner out, no movies. But happy nevertheless. I no longer feel depressed and that is a gift in and of itself.

I know what my mom would say to me today if she was here..."Happy Birthday, I love you!"

I love you too Mom.... thank you for everything.