Got 'Em

Ying & Yang

My heart stop beating for just a moment as I ran through the yard looking for the kids. The gate was locked, the shed was empty. Where could they be? Then in the midst of my panic... I heard little voices laughing..... I never considered the sand box to be big enough to fit two 3 year-olds... But it is!

First Play Date

La Rae came over the other day and while our older kids ran around in the back yard... our newest had their first playdate. I don't know how Justin felt about the matter, but Tristan LOVED IT. He wouldn't nurse. He just sat on my lap looking and talking to Justin. He would lean over and touch his arm and try to grab his hand. We eventually put them in the ecosaucer and the Bumbo. They sat there for over 20 minutes... just looking and talking - it was fantastic.

Side note: if any of you are wondering why this whole thing just tickles me. It is because Braden NEVER cared about another baby. Never cooed or talked - babbled. Almost never laughed. He of course is not like that today...I am so excited to see what kind of person Tristan will be in 3 years!

Tristan Has something to say

a short clip... cute nonetheless

Nerd Alert

http://www.says-it.com/seal/index.php

An awesome website I stumbled across tonight while trying to make fake money for my MOPS group look real!

Mary Poppins

We had a great day at the park on Friday. My MOPS group met to fly kites. I didn't bring a kite for Braden because I am never really sure if I am going to make it to this stuff... but we were able to bum a kite off my friend Dorothy. Braden LOVED it.. as you can see he stayed and flew his kite after all the other kids got bored. And yes... that is Megan ! What would we do with out her :-)

You've Got Mail...

and I've got issues. My friend Jen has again reminded me that we need to do another girls movie night... to which I agree.... the movie in which she wants to watch is where I disagree.

Which brings me to 'my issues'.

I have lots of issues. Some big some small. Like, not eating at McDonald's because they tear down reforest for their paper. Or not walking on street grates, because I don't want to fall in. Before you laugh, consider this - there are no grate checkers, no one who inspects their safety. I don't like the company Bounty OR (as I mentioned in a previous post) Pillsbury. And I have issues with movies. I have so many that movies should have their own category with sub-issues!

I have issues with the movie "You've Got Mail". Have I seen this movie? NO... but I saw "What Women Want" so I am full up, thank you very much.

"Hey Jules, whats the problem? It's such a cute movie...Meg Ryan is so awesome".

Yeah, I am sure she is. But since you asked I will enlighten you on my issue. I love a romantic comedy as much as the next guy. I only ask that the characters in the movie are . I can suspend disbelief and overlook a lot of plot holes (Kate and Leopold). What I cannot do, is sit by as all of our female leads fall for crappy men one after the next (K & L not included).

In YGM - the Tom Hanks character is not a horrible guy. But his ethics are a bit questionable. Plus he (willing) lies and tricks Meg's character all the while knowing that she is his online love. And then when she finds out she STILL likes the guy.

As one review noted:
She offers no objection to the discovery that he has known for the last third of the film that she is the "Shopgirl" of their email correspondence, and has withheld that information (surely an unfair if not illegal romantic practice). And of course, she completely forgives him for his business practices.

or as this one said:
Perhaps most appalling is the fact that after Fox Books puts local landmark The Shop Around the Corner out of business, Kathleen thanks Joe for liberating her from the daily rigors of being a businesswoman. Now she can finally pursue her passion for writing children’s books instead of selling them. Presumably the two are mutually exclusive. When she further rewards him by agreeing to a friendship, my feminist side bristles.

"Hey Jules relax... it's just a movie."

Even more my point. Make it a romantic comedy where it is a TRUE happy ending and not a marginal compromise. I love a knight in shining armour... and that is what the girl should end up with. NOT a guy who is only partially a creep. We already have women settling in real life... I don't need to see it on film. PLUS for all the teenage girls out there who flock to this crap it sends a horrible message -"keep a hold of whatever man shows interest in you regardless of his standards and morals"

Anyway - that's how I feel - and YES I already know... I've got issues! And the best thing about Jen? She loves me anyway!

You have two choices...

For awhile now when communicating with Braden my sentence always begins " you have two choices". They both lead to the same outcome (of course) but I have been told that it gives him the sense of freedom and choice and the inability to say no... which is true, most of the time.

At nap time still to this day I will say "you have two choices... you can walk, or I can carry you." He would answer me with " carry you". Which I always thought was very cute. His imitation of the words that he did not understand.

All of that has now changed. Just a few weeks ago (since Dallas) I have noticed that when asked he now says "carry me". He just learned it all on his own! And at some point started answering me in the correct way.

My son who was baby that became a toddler has taken that next step to being a KID! (as my friend Jen would say "single tear")

Just noticed...

I was at the supermarket today picking up some crescent rolls for Braden's school lunch thing next week. I looked and looked for another brand BESIDES Pillsbury ( I have issues with the LOW LOW quality food they produce). The only other choice was the grocery store brand, which, the stock boy informed me came from Pillsbury... (which sounded about right). We both stood there scratching our heads trying to think of ANY other brand that makes rolls that pop out of a tube... Neither of us could. Can you?

Images of St Louis

Not Mother Friendly Part 2

I officially hate daylight savings... I hate it more being in Abilene than I did in St Louis. This morning when I woke up I lay in bed wondering what time it was. My whole room was dark. I was guessing it was 5ish. I look at the clock. 7:12am. Seven in the morning and it is still dark.

Our bodies naturally wake up with the help of the sun. Why then do we change our clocks so that we wake up LATER with the sun?

If Braden gets up at 8am, how am I supposed to get him out the door by 8:30 for school or MOPS or anything?

Correct me if I am wrong, but wouldn't this mean too that all the kids waiting for the bus are waiting in the dark? Oh, yeah THAT's safe!

Oh... I remember - we have daylight savings so that we can have more light in the afternoon and early evening. A bunch of good that does me. Do you know how hard it is to get a kid to bed when the sun is still streaming in the windows?

Yesterday, since Braden slept in so late he didn't take a nap. So by 6:30 he was exhausted... but fought me (even harder than usual) to stay up.

I guess this whole thing is meant for working people. So that when they get home at 6pm they have 2 hours of 'day' left rather then just 1.

Why Abilene vs. St Louis? Because we are so much farther west... that we really didn't even need daylight savings. The sun is up at 7 am in St Louis.... but not Abilene.

Now I know why Indiana and Arizona don't participate in this most stupid of ideas!

just say what your selection is

Some ideas sound great at first, but don't really translate well in practice. Case in point, automated telephone attendants. You know, the computer voice that says "Hi, I'm Judy your automated customer service representative. You can tell me what you need..." Blah blah blah- whatever. This new invention was an answer to the "Press 1 for ....." that everyone hates. When we have to call (the phone company, airlines, etc) we want to talk to a person. So, this was the company's way of keeping costs low and trying to give the public what it wanted....great idea... sort of.

I now find them even more frustrating than the number menu selection. WHY?

"Hi and thank you for calling USAA. Which department would you like?"
"Loans" I reply
"Okay, loans. What type? Home Auto Business..."
"MOM! Who are you talking to?" yells Braden
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please choose..."
"Braden, not now" I whisper.
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please choose..."
"Auto!" I say hurriedly
"Auto Loans. Is this correct?" the computer asks me.
"Mom look at this..." Braden persists.
"I'm sorry I didn't understand you. Say yes if this is correct."
"It's a red car momma!" Braden keeps talking
"I'm sorry. I didn't understand you.."
"Braden honey you have to be quiet..."
"I'm sorry ....

Yeah Yeah Yeah - I'm sorry too!

You get the point. There are certain words that will get you to a live person. But every company has their own 'secret password'. For some it is 'representative' for others its 'help' and so on and so forth. They are always odd word choices and never intuitive.

The whole thing just drives me nuts! If I am calling a company then it is because there is a problem with (the bill, the service, the reservation -whatever) and the last thing I need is to deal with Monotone Mary.

Every day I am reminded that this world is not mother-friendly, not mother friendly at all!

Flat Dad

I just heard about flat daddy and then found this news article. Then I found this place to buy them online. This blog writes a great piece on the phenomenon...

I have a lot of opinions about this.... one concern is.... These cardboard images might also have an ironic effect in terms of the families involved on a personal level, too. What if the kids come to prefer the cardboard cutouts to their real flesh and blood parents? We don't know if this boy's actual father would ever ride on the swing set with his son. Flat daddies can become fantasy objects for their families--they're always there, never loose their tempers and don't make any demands. What happens when a real parent, perhaps traumatized by the war, comes home and has to compete with their cutout? Their families have learned to function without them. The transition from non-demanding Flat Daddy back to emotionally complicated Real Daddy could be a tough one for military families.

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

Mason just walked out the door. I stood in my parents hallway and watch him walk out the laundry room door into the garage where my dad was waiting in the car to take him to the airport. In a flash I saw all the other times I have watched Mason leave. Just like in the movies I see over lapping scenes of Mason (at varying ages) walking away. Down the jet bridge to the plane, to an awaiting car... doesn't matter. It is always the same. In one moment I have him in my arms, and in the next he's gone.

The first time was in June 1992. I was standing outside the girls dormitory in front of a big yellow school bus. It was the end of my Junior year in high school and everyone was leaving for the summer. The bus was headed to the airport. I stood there crying. Loud sobs with tears and snot running down my face.

Since then there have been all sorts of reasons for leaving. The relationship was over, vacation is over, summer is over, school is beginning, job is beginning, the war has begun. 15 years of coming and going. 15 years of saying goodbye, I love you.

It doesn't get easier or harder. The circumstances are always so different. I don't sob anymore either.... just quiet tears as I watch (him, the car, the plane) get smaller and smaller and then eventually disappear.

The Crier

I found this article while looking for information about being a deaf mother...

A search on the Internet led me to www.codie.org, the website of the Center on Deafness--Inland Empire (CODIE), based in Riverside, California. They referred us to a local company that sells the Baby Crier Monitor. The Crier has two parts: a main clock that acts as the sound-alert system, with an attached vibrating rod that goes under the parents' mattress; and a small sound sensor, to be placed near the sleeping baby. When the baby cries, the sound-alert system activates the rod to alert the sleeping parents. The system can be set to vibrate or flash lights (a lamp will be needed), or both. (Another company that provides equipment to the deaf and hard-of-hearing is Hear-More, of Farmingdale, New York; www.hearmore.com.)

St Louis Morning

I woke up in St. Louis this morning... at my parents house. The sun shines a whole hour earlier here than in Abilene., but that is not what woke me up. It was the birds. I don't know what kind they are (it sounds a few different kinds really) I don't know how many there are either. But the sound they make is the same EVERY time... every morning.

You know how when you hear a song you haven't heard in ages it can transport you back to the time/age you were when you had first heard it. A song that was played non stop on the radio that one summer - or maybe that song you had to learn a dance routine to at camp. You hear it again 10 years later and for just a brief moment you are transported back in time...

That happened to me this morning. Listening to those birds... I felt like I was 16 again.... just for a second... it was fantastic and horrifying all at once!

Walk a mile

Last week Tristan lost his voice. Doesn't really sound like that big of a deal really, I mean what does a 4 month have to say ....

Turns out it was one of the hardest weeks for me as a mother.

Since Tristan lost his voice it meant that I couldn't hear him when he cried. Which, is not a problem when I am was with him. But it became a problem when (for whatever reason) he was out of eyesight. Normally if I left him in his bouncy or bumbo ... or if he was in his crib or the couch I would return quickly if I heard him cry... or at least be able to tell how much he needed me by the pitch, intensity and frequency of his cry. But last week, none of those tools were available to me. The worst was when I put him in his crib. I couldn't tell if he was having a hard time going to sleep or if he woke up crying in the middle of a nap or if he was done sleeping. I have a cheap monitor so I had to turn it all the way up to hear his strain.

Before this it hadn't occurred to me how much I truly rely on my hearing. I know that sounds silly... but I didn't. I guess I took it for granted. So it got me to thinking what it must be like for a deaf mom. What kind of techniques did they use to "hear" their baby. I am sure there must be a whole different style of mothering out there.

Have any of you experienced this or know someone who is deaf - what do they do???? If I get a chance to read about this later in the week I will let you know.

How limited my view and experience of the world really is.....

Post Offce

Yesterday I was in the post office waiting in line. That is what you spend most of your time doing at the Abilene post office... waiting. There is always a line - no matter what time of day it is or how many clerks are at the counter...

So, I am standing there waiting in line and a poster catches my eye. It is an advertisement for stamps - the new ones - with pictures and stuff. There was the wedding stamp, the breast cancer stamp, blah blah blah. Then there was the Ella Fitzgerald stamp... but it was listed as Black Heritage. Then right next to it was another 'person' stamp. I forget who the person was now, but it was a white guy. And its title was Celebrating....

It had never been so obvious to me before... in our attempt to try and right the wrongs of the past we were still separating our races. I thought, why couldn't Ella's stamp just said Celebrating. Why can't we have white and black history mixed together. Why do we have a special month for them, but yet no other race. How about Mexican Heritage Month or Asian or European Heritage month.

I felt sad, standing there.... it seems like we still have so far to go....

Theory 101 - Only Child

We all love hearing stories from our parents about when we were little children. All that silly stuff that kids do, all that cute stuff infants do. After we get married we love hearing stories about our spouse. Both my father and mother -in- law tell the same ones over and over again... and we all chuckle and blush and all that junk.

When I had just one child I thought that these stories were so unique to me. That each one showed how even at a young age I displayed the certain personality traits as I do now. I thought each child was so DIFFERENT. Now that I have Tristan and spent much more time around little ones than I had ever had in my life I have changed my opinion.

When Braden was an infant he loved looking at ceiling fans and lights. "Look!" I would say "He is just staring a hole in those lights, isn't that precious" I thought it was so unique. Come to find out EVERY infant stares at ceiling fans and lights...

Obviously being exposed to just one child limits your understanding of children in general. Was it me all these years that was misunderstanding these stories or did my parents really think that my behavior was so unique?

I listen to those stories now with a different ear.

Theory 101

I have a whole bunch of theories... some of them well research and so not so well researched...now that I think of it MOST of my theories fall into the "not so well" research category... nevertheless I will share them anyway!

if i ever wrote a book

it would be titled "You Can't Hear the Baby Crying if the Bath Water is Running".....

Braden's New Obsession

http://www.automoblox.com/

We got ours at Gummylump. I got tired of Braden braking all his cars trying to take them apart and then getting mad when they wouldn't go back together again!

on the 45....

Since Mason left I have been listening to the "Garden State" soundtrack over and over and over again

... everytime I hear these lyrics it makes me think of him...

I am thinking it's a sign

That the freckles in our eyes

Are mirror images and

When we kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate

That God himself did make us into

Corresponding shapes like puzzles pieces

From the clay

True, it may seem like a stretch

But it's thoughts like this

That catch my troubled head

When you're away, when I am missing you to death

fruits of the spirit

Love Patience Kindness Gentleness Joy Peace Goodness Faith and Self-Control

Even though there are 9 we seem to work on patience kindness and self-control most :-)

But tonight Braden demonstrated something that should be but is not on this list....


Bedtime can either be super easy or WW3. I have yet to learn how to tell which it is going to be until I am smack dab in the middle of it. When its easy its easy and I take it for granted... but when its not LOOK OUT!

So I have been trying to cultivate some techniques (stockpile some tricks for my bag) for when bedtime goes south. One of my tactics is taking toys up when Braden argues with me.... it goes something like this "Let's go pick out some jammies." "NO!" "Let us hurry so we can have time for a story... go get your jammies" "NO!" " Braden, every night we go to sleep, and every night we get our jammies on. You can demonstrate self control or you can argue and throw a fit. But if you argue with me and throw a fit you will lose a privilege. I can take up your truck and your llama - you make the choice."

Tonight he choose well and everything was going along great until he got into bed. "Give me your truck and I will put it on your dresser." "NO! I want to play with my truck in bed." "That is a privilege for nap time only, please give me the truck" and so on and so forth. He eventually and with out a fuss gave up the truck which included the little guys who drive it. We said prayers and sang our good-night song. I closed the door and started to put Tristan down. Not even a minute later I hear Braden calling "momma... momma come here" I thought - oh no he is going to start arguing with me over the truck. I opened his door and asked "what is it?" he held out his hand to me and said "here the peoples for the truck" apparently we hadn't gotten them all in the first go around. I almost started crying as I kissed his head and thanked him for his wonderful demonstration of honesty...which now in the Stewart house is the 10th fruit!

in case you were wondering...

I have been a bit busy this week. The car broke down - YEP the brand new one, it was the battery. Finally the fence repair guy came out and gave me an estimate - it's a lot... you don't want to know And Calhoun went to vet - he had a cavity in a back tooth that had to be pulled... they both came out fine!

Oh - did I mention Braden has been sick all week!