like a ton of bricks

This afternoon we went to a birthday party. Braden is very good friends with the little girl(Salem) and I am very good friends with the mom (Leah).

During the happy birthday song I started to cry... I looked around at Leah, Deanna and La Rae then I looked at their children. Braden's friends... his first friends and it hit me like a ton of bricks.... We are leaving .... we won't be here forever... We won't be able to spend year after year celebrating birthdays with each other... growing and learning laughing and praying...

My friends I have made here are VERY special to me. I feel close and connected to them. And I know (although he can't articulate it yet) Braden feels the same way... he can't remember anything else. There has always been a Salem Lane & Maeghyn. They have been teachers to him also. Learning to share, and to be gentle... learning to be patient and kind.

My wanderlust has ceased.... oh, if I could slow time down... just enough to be able to fit it all in....

What is your power animal?

bed time

In order to get to Braden's school on time, we need to leave the house around 7:30...we can push 7:45 but he doesn't have as much "free play" time before the bell rings.

Braden Tristan and I along with COUNTLESS others pull into the school around 7:50/8:00 in the morning. We all turn west into the parking lot, drive north, drop the kiddos off then turn east out onto the road. side note: EVERY time I am reminded of Mr. Mom's drop o drop off scene.

I watch all the other parents dropping off their 4-5 year olds. And, I assume (since I see the parents dressed for the day) that they all got up "about" the same time we did. Logically it just stands to reason.

That being said..... I ASSUME then that all kids go to be at "about" the same time. Take into account the nap factor of course.

Well, I assumed WRONG. I don't know what is going on this week, but I keep seeming to have the same part of a different conversation over and over again. And As I type this I can't even recall (shout out to alberto gonzalez) how any of these conversations start... but I can sure as heck remember how they end.... And at some point I utter the words " ....they go to bed about 6" .

then .... the same response "WOW! Really!?" it's a mix between amazement & confusion. "That is amazing" or "That's interesting... why that early?"

WHY? ... because Braden gets up at 6 in the flippin' morning! AND because he is TIRED !

What time are all these other kids going to bed? Are they taking naps? (Braden doesn't) Why is what we do so different than everybody else? I just don't get it...

Tristan Scott 11 months

22lbs

30.5 inches

Likes: Hanging upside down, screaming at his ball popper, mom and big brother singing Itsy Bitsy Spider
Dislikes: having the phone or remote control pried out of his hands, having to crawl over the dogs when they lie in his way, falling off the couch

Walk the Walk Part 2

Speaking of birthdays....if you are going to have a party then you need invitations. Normally I go to Target and pick up some cute (print your own) invites. But recently that sort of thing just feels wrong. I know several ladies who make their own with stamp it up, or creative memories and I have been known to make the random post card on my computer. So, why not?

I'll tell you why not... it is infinitely more time consuming. Plus its WORK. First I had to think of what the heck I was going to do. My goal was to not buy any materials, just use what I had in the house. Second was to see if the stuff around the house would fit my vision and third I had actually spend the time MAKING the dang things.

Braden drew the picture. He absolutely LOVED the idea of making the invites for his baby brother. Side note: his interest in Tristan coupled with participating in an art project made all the effort worth it. I scanned it into the computer and used left over samples of photo paper to print (the now shrunk down) cover art.

I typed up a brief "come Celebrate Tristan's first birthday" write up for the inside of the card and printed it out on some construction paper we had lying around the house. (I think it is a rule or law or something that if you have a child age 2 or older you must have in your possession a tablet of constructions paper.) That actually was the hardest part. It took forever to measure the paper, line it up so the printing came out centered, and then hand feed each piece of through the printer. Not to mention the 4x6 photo paper was too big for the card after it was cut down. So I shrank the picture even more then eyeballed trimming so it would fit right.

I popped them into some invitation envelopes I had (left over from something 8 years ago) and slapped my (already purchased from awhile ago) Star Wars commemorative stamps on (stop laughing) and DONE!

I feel good about using the resources I had in the house, plus Mason is happy that I didn't drop any money on "something we don't really need". I have to say though, having Braden's involvement and excitement was the best part. I felt like for a moment I was a real "back in the day" mom...

Walk the Walk - Part 1

Although I am in the throws of an anti-consumption movement right now, Tristan's birthday is slowly creeping near. People have started asking for what he wants.... what he needs.


The correct answer is nothing. Truly he needs NOTHING. We have enough toys for him, enough clothes for him etc etc. But I am not a communist... and I DO like giving (and getting) useful, meaningful gifts.


One thing I thought Tristan would like is a crib activity center. Braden had a Fisher Price Aquarium Wonders that he loved. (which has lost all of its water now). So Tristan's crib was barren. I went online to read reviews of the latest crib toys and was less than impressed. I wanted something very hands on ... not just lights and music. Something to work those fine motor skills. But most of the review I read were less than stellar (for many reasons). Then, one guy mentioned the crib activity center WE had as kids. I thought "yeah... that is what I am talking about."


"To the Ebay!!!".....

I looked up 70's crib activity centers and found many from 1973. It was exactly what I wanted. Push buttons, knobs, dials, spinning wheels and fun (manual) noise makers NO BATTERIES!!!


It came just a few days ago. In almost perfect condition... Everything works. It was 15.00!!! It came wrapped in newspaper sent in a recycled box. The best part came as I was putting it up... I noticed some wording in the corner.... "Made in the U.S.A"



T likes it too, and we found a much better use for it than the crib. Perfect!

If the wise men had wrapped gifts....

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."

This just cracks me up!

NO MORE

I am done with wrapping paper. DONE!!! It is SO wasteful. For all of the recycling reducing and reusing we do.... it doesn't happen with WP. But that is not my main argument against WP. I won't mention the horrible effect on the environment that the production, consumption then destruction WP has... I know I can't change the world. That is not my job.



What IS my job, however, is to raise and teach my children. I can no longer sit idly by while reams of paper enter my house only to be ripped to shreds and tossed out in seconds. How indulgent!!! With all the work we do to counter act the message of consumption and waste that our children receive (from multiple sources), birthdays and holidays seem to slip pass the radar. But that is when it should matter most. How many more generations of children will be taught to BUY something that is made to be seen as an obstacle then thrown away. Birthdays are about celebrating the individual and their life. Christmas (and all other winter gift giving holidays) are a time to celebrate religion, culture , nature, history and humanity. NOT about spend, get, consume.

Mothers of my generation are starting to understand this. We talk about limits on gift giving. No junk toys, furniture that grows with kids, money given for lessons or books. And with all this I am saying NO MORE WRAPPING PAPER.

But we face resistance. From within our very own ranks. Our elders. They LOVE to shop for our kids. LOVE to spoil them with toys, clothes and junk. They bristle at our attempts to limit gifts. They think we are crazy when we ban plastics, and toys from china. They think we are being elitest when we sugest that we would like Grandma and Grampa to buy "Little Johnny" gymnastic lessons instead of one more piece of junk that will sit on the shelf.


" Hey, (place family members name here), I have been thinking, and we are trying something different this year. In an effort to reduce waste we are asking that any gift that you send the boys to be left unwrapped. We will use fabric to wrap the gifts before they go under the tree (or out for the birthday)."

I thought this was a much easier plan then asking them to buy special paper or to use their own recycled WP. Plus most of our family sends presents, and the wrapping paper gets ripped and torn and the bows get smooshed.... I thought it would be a win win....

I was wrong (I should have known). It was like I was asking them to walk across hot coals naked in front their worst enemies.

I was told that I was robbing the giver the pleasure of the gift giving experience. That people like wrapping up gifts and that I was being selfish. "These gifts are for the boys, not you. You don't get to dictate what happens to the boys." Actually I do "get to" dictate what happens to my boys. That is a primary aspect of my job. I dictate what they eat, watch, learn, read, drink, play with, ride in, sleep on. Why should this be any different? But it is... it is a generational thing. They just see it differently. (like thank you notes -which is for another post) they don't see the waste and the negative message of consuming which is tied up with the gift giving.

So, I've pulled back. I am starting slow this year. I am going to try it with the gifts we give. Quiet example can be a much more effective tool of change than making a racket!

I want something that is reusable. At the moment I am thinking of fabrics that can be kept from year to year. I am still working out all the kinks of this new plan.... and I will keep you abreast of all new info.

Kinda like Death - Part 2

"I don't know how you handle it Julia....?"


That is the line I hear most often from Mom friends regarding Mason being away so much.

Today I got to talk with my friend who's husband is on his FIRST EVER deployment. She admitted to me that she was not doing well with it, and didn't understand why. "I don't know how you do it" she said. I answered " You just do, you have no choice. It's sink or swim."

But there is more to the answer than that:

1. Mason has been gone on and off since we have been married. We are use to it, its a part of our life. We don't like it and its not easier each time... but it is a part of us.

2. I try to surround myself with other women who are going through the same thing. It will only make it that much harder on you if all the functions you attend are filled with families with daddies around. FIND the military families and go to military events.... you won't feel so alone and your situation won't seem so different. Have military women friends to talk to and hang out with.

3. I have accepted that my expectations and what I thought were "rights" are just a construct of my own mind. Just because my reality is not mirrored to me through our culture (tv, print, friends) does not mean that my situation is wrong or bad.... just different.

I explained that what she going through is greif. She is mourning the loss of what she had and what her expectations were. It's not just missing her husband that affects her, its the idea that her situation is beyond her control. She can't change it OR fix it. She just has to deal with it.
Like dealth, un-alterable events force us to deal with change. Change is the root cause of suffering. When we let go of our expectations and our fear of change we can heal through our grief and learn to embrace life no matter how it comes to us.

answer me this...

How come there isn't a drive-thru at the post office?

I mean there's the mailbox letter drop drive-thru... but no actual window drive thru.

For all the package lugging, kid hand holding, baby distracting so he won't eat the pen, line standing, little old lady chatting etc....

I mean REALLY! Everything else has a drive-thru....

What? is the Post Office to good for that... can't bring themselves to do "what everyone else is doing?"

Is there some sort of special reason why they CAN'T have a drive-thru.... probably not... which just reinforces my belief that postal workers are a bit masochistic anyway...

The decision has been made

After much reading here and here ... I have finally purchased our NEW sippys!

I let you know how they turn out.

better than nothing

We have a DVD of Mason reading Braden's favorite books. He made it last winter right before he left for WIC training. Back then, Braden was the only one interested... but now Tristan likes watching and listening to his dad. (added bonus.... I can get about 10 minutes of dad babysitting time from T, which is nothing to sneeze at!)

a losing battle?

I was talking with my friend on the phone today. Her little boy is sick. Really sick... he had been throwing up and having diarrhea on and off for awhile.

I had called (not knowing about her son) to catch up on how she was doing. But, we ended up talking about her boy. He is almost 6 months old.

At one point I heard background noise and I asked her what she was doing. She told me she was mixing up some Pedialyte to give to the baby. I asked if she was still nursing. She said yes. That she had been the whole time. She said she thought she would try it, see if the Pedialyte would be any better for him. She asked my opinion. I said... "well, its foreign substance, and he is already dealing with an upset stomach (for whatever reason)... I am pretty conservative... I usually just stick to breast milk. Its the most perfect complete form of nutrition, even in this situation." she responded "yeah.... I have been exclusively nursing him... he seems to be doing okay." I told her NOT to feel in adequate.... that somehow breast milk was lacking in something that needed to be supplemented with a man made substance." I told her she was doing a great job regardless and that she was a great mom.

Later today I ran by her house to drop off some food. She told me that she had called the doctor's office this morning (right before I called) to receive council regarding the baby. She said the nurse told her NOT to breastfeed and that he should have pedialyte... that breastmilk would upset his stomach more ..... She and I laughed, we figure the nurse thinks that cows milk and breastmilk are the same somehow. She thanked me for my timely call... saying that if I hadn't been there for support she may have started to doubt herself.


I tell you all this, not to toot my own horn.... but because it is a sad reminder of the fact that we as new mothers have times of doubt and that we need sound reassurance... but most of the time in our hours of need all we receive is mis-information.

http://www.kellymom.com/health/illness/baby-illness.html
The use of an oral re-hydration therapy such as Pedialyte is a sound recommendation for a formula-fed infant who is vomiting or who has diarrhea, but using this in place of breastmilk offers no benefit to the breastfed baby. Human milk is a natural fluid, unlike formula and other milk products, that again is easily and rapidly digested.

mid day snuggle

Fish Fry

Today at lunch we (me Braden and Tristan) were watching Baby Einstein's Baby Neptune. This lovely piece of film has been view hundreds of time by me and Braden... Tristan is trying to catch up.

Here's the conversation:

B: Do you know that some people eat fish?
M: Yes, that is true. Some people think that it is wrong to eat fish, or cows or chickens or pigs. What do you think?
B: It's cool...
M: it's cool? I don't think you have ever eaten fish... shrimp... but not fish....
B: Can we eat fish today?
M: No, we don't have any fish in the house, Mom doesn't like eating it.
B: No.... we have to go to the water and get the fish to eat.
M: OH.... you want to go fishing?
B: Yeah, we need to go to the water and put the hook in the fish mouth (shows me his finger pulling on his cheek).
M: Well I suppose we can go fishing at some point.
B: We'll go fishing tomorrow....
M: That's your plan?
B: Yeah...
M: That's cool...

Reality....

I had a crappy week.
Not only was the week crappy, but I was crappy to everybody.
I didn't get enough sleep, too much crap had to be done, and I was the only one who could do it.

I miss Mason.
I am angry that he is deployed.
I am feeling sorry for myself.
Which just makes me feel stupid (and yes crappy) because I signed on for this gig. How can you complain about something you volunteered for.

Speaking of that.... it was hard to be a mom to my kids this week. I got all worked up about Mason being gone, and me having to do this all on my own. I would get mad a my friends (to myself) that they had their husbands around and they seemed just as busy as me and I wanted to yell "Not Bloody Likely".

I felt like a loser today at lunch. I have a baby sitter come once a week. Her only day off to come is Saturday.... which is the one day that EVERYONE else on the planet is spending with their family, or going to the fair, or going to the zoo, or going to a birthday party or blah blah blah.... Point is, no one is going with me out to lunch :-( So I felt like a loser sitting there by myself at the restaurant.

Then I felt even more crappy that I was complaining about not having a lunch date - I mean, HEY at least I was able to get out of the house and HAVE lunch without the kids.

Serves me right though... When I did get together with my friends this week... (play dates etc) I was in a grumpy mood... So I acted like a jerk, and snapped at Braden and made rude comments to strangers.... I was in rare form.

Tristan has a cold....(need I say more?)

The straw? Tonight when Braden and I were saying his prayers and signing the "good night song" he stopped me and asked if we could call dad and have him pray and sing with us.

side note: while he was away earlier this year (in the states for training) we were able to call him most nights of the week.

But when he is deployed it is a WHOLE different ballgame. I struggled to explain to Braden why we couldn't call Mason and I could tell that he wasn't really satisfied with the whole explanation... but accepted it anyway.... the whole thing broke my heart.

Hi, and welcome to Craptown, would you like a side order of crap to go along with your crap?

A day behind

My first Christmas catalog came in the mail yesterday. LL Bean - we have not bought anything from LL Bean for almost 6 or 7 years... but each year (without fail) we receive 4-6 catalogs from them....And they were first in line this year.... making sure I hadn't forgotten that Christmas is just 104 days away...

just 1/3 of the year left people... come on! Hop to it! They are offering free shipping!

Sugar Log

I don't know any mom or teacher who would disagree with me that sugar is NOT good for our children. Any yet, since 2005 when Braden started going to MDO I have had to provide him with alternative snacks because apparently "sugar" is a subjective term. People will nod their head in agreement with me while I tell them that I don't like Braden having sugar. But as the year progresses I start to notice what really gets served to the kids....

In MDO they would give them TANG to drink ( 28grams of sugar) in the morning, then in the afternoon they would get a sandwich cookie (fake Oreos... icing between two chocolate or vanilla wafers)... I never got a look at the sugar content... but I assume it was fairly high. So for those two years I would tell them to give him just water and then I brought peanut butter crackers for the afternoon. I tried talking to the director about the issue. She nodded in agreement, saying that healthy eating was an important issue and that they were very interested in learning more... blah blah blah.... but nothing ever came to fruition.

So I had high hopes for this year... a new school, great curriculum, awesome teachers. At our orientation though my heart sank. Apparently instead of the school providing the snack, or YOU providing the snack for your OWN child.... parents take turns bringing in snacks for the WHOLE class for the WHOLE week.

I don't really have a panic alarm in my head, its more of a quiet red flag that pops up.

After reading the list of approved snacks: Fruit Roll Ups Pop Tarts Vanilla Wafers.... etc etc my red flag went up, and I went to talk to the teacher.

Like all the others she agreed that sugar was bad, and that they try very hard to minimize the kids exposure to it. She discouraged me from bringing my own snacks since that might make Braden feel 'different' or 'left out'. She promised me though that she would always ask my permission if something seemed questionable. And in the past 4 weeks (since school has been in session) she has. In the morning when I drop Braden off, she has always given me a heads up or asked permission about certain items, which I TOTALLY appreciate.

But today driving home another little red flag started to show itself.... I got to thinking "it really seems like I talk to the teacher a lot about this." So I came home to write a sugar log. I am going to do this for the whole year.... I will do one each month. That way I can see how bad the trend really is.

The month of September (so far):

• A birthday party - cupcakes
• Hot day on the playground - Popsicles
• Cooking class- chocolate chip cookies
• Pep Rally Day - M and M's
• Panther Buddy visit - lollipops
• Snack (yesterday)- Welch's "fake" fruit snacks
• Picture day - flat red lollipop

Right now that is averaging 2 "sweet treats" a week. I will keep this log going and keep you all posted.....

I don't expect people to understand/accept/ accommodate vegetarianism.... or Organic eating... but I thought we were all on board with the sugar thing.... Sometimes I really feel like I am losing my mind... are my beliefs so far from the mainstream that I am not in touch with today's lifestyle? Am I THAT militant?

UPDATE: I wrote this post WHILE Braden was at school. I can now add TWO more items to the list.

• Fruit Loops necklace (using them to learn about their senses.... smell taste touch)
• Vanilla wafers (snack - thank goodness I brought my own today)
  

So that means we are up to NINE!

Second UPDATE: I just remembered that on orientation day the teacher had a bag of goodies for each kid at their seat: crayons, key chain etc.... but also included A BLOW POP (regular size)... that's TEN !

Silver Lining

I know that frequently mention my frustration with Abilene... well today I was reminded of something positive that I have ONLY seen here.

At all the grocery stores in town (excluding Wal-Mart) your bagger follows you out to your car, loads your groceries and then returns the cart.... just like on base... but no tips!

It's wonderful. It's very indulgent. And I think its FABULOUS!

Stories

Last year 9/11 fell on a Monday... Our second MOPS meeting of the year. Mike Cope, the preacher of Highland came to speak to us (as he did every year)...but it was a bigger deal because of the date. Usually he just introduced himself, talked being a parent, welcomed us to the group etc etc... But what he said last year stuck with me, so much so that it was one of the first things I thought of this morning when I remembered what day it was.

This is my summary,recollection, interpretation of what he said:

When such unspeakable events occur (like 9/11) we ask ourselves "how could this happen?" . "What would poses a person to do such terrible things to his fellow human beings?" "Why are they angry, why do they hate?" It is hard for us to understand their (in this case the hijackers) perception of reality, their opinions about the rest of the world. We don't understand where they come from.

Mike went on to say "They heard stories about the west. Stories about what supposedly goes on here. Stories about how we think and feel. They heard stories about what their history had taught them to do with people like us." They heard these stories from their imams, their school teachers, their friends. But before ANY of these.... they heard these stories at home... from their mothers.

As mothers, we have such control in how our children view the world. We can present peace and unity, or hatred and fear.

All mothers and families tell stories to their little ones. The Good Samaritan The Boy who Cried Wolf The Ugly Duckling The Giving Tree .......

What are the stories we tell our little ones? How are we presenting the world to our children? When they close their eyes and listen for your voice - what do they hear?

And what about our own individual stories, our orignal narratives that can sometimes be colored with emotion and fear?

It is our job to keep our faith, our stories, and our traditions alive, but also to cultivate love and tolerance. To give our children a secure foundation to face the world, with a clear understanding of how they fit into the beautiful puzzle which is mankind.

Peacful Nights

When Braden started phasing out his afternoon naps (about 8 or 9 months ago) a horrible side effect starting happening. For whatever reason a few hours (usually 2) after he would go down for bed at night, he would wake up screaming and crying.... sometimes by the time we got to his room he was standing in the middle of it, like he was sleep walking... or he was facing his wall, like he was lost.

EVERY night this happened. We tried everything. Moving his bedtime around. Having a very calm peaceful routine with quite books, examining his diet etc.... Nothing seemed to change these horrible episodes. I read about night terrors, but that is not what these were.... So for a bit we just thought it was something we/he had to endure.

side note: when I say we... I really mean me.... Mason was gone away at training and had only been subjected to a handful of these episodes.

Somehow during a search for kid books on Amazon I came across a book of nighttime meditations for preschoolers. I didn't think that much of it until I read WHY the author had written this particular series of books. She talked about how her daughter had terrible nightmares from not being able to calm her racing mind after a busy day. This mom wanted to be able to fill her child's head with beautiful calming images that would help her transition into peaceful dreams.

The whole concept made sense to me. I totally have "busy head" when I lay down at night. It just never occurred to me that my son might also. And it also didn't occur to me that he and I were not talking about any anxiety he might have been experiencing... since A) his verbal skills are not that good and B) it didn't occur to me that a child might have anxiety...

We started slowly. After our books, but before prayers I had Braden lie down in his bed. I turned the lights off (using the slightly open bedroom door to let the hall light in) and instructed him to close his eyes. There is a bit of a preamble, and then it gets into the meditations.

And really what it means by meditations is, really descriptive short stories. In the preamble it talks about a star which shines brightly. The bright light represents warmth and love. Love for all humanity and all the creatures on the earth. As you 'walk' to your garden you pass the worry tree. You instruct the child to "pin onto this tree anything that worries you at all". And then you pass through the gates and enter the garden. Here is where the story differs. There are animal stories (frogs, bears, whales, rabbits) there are destination stories (Arctic, London, the circus) etc etc....

The whole thing takes about 5 minutes. It seems that the book is slightly geared towards girls, there are no car or truck meditations, which would make sense since the author has a daughter.

It took about a month for Braden to really settle into the routine. He lies down, closes his eyes, we breath in and out VERY slowly 3 times...and then I begin to read. It took a while for him to learn not to talk or interrupt me. I had to explain that there were no pictures in the book, that he was supposed to "see" the pictures in his mind. But like I said, after a few weeks it was just part of our routine. He seems to like them and asks for certain meditations by name.

Now that I understand how to do it, and what the purpose is, I bet I could write a few of my own.

I am happy to report that the nighttime waking and screaming has stopped. And I know what your thinking...that maybe this whole thing has nothing to do with the book. But I assure you that there were a few nights that I was lax and for whatever reason did not do the mediation... and guess what happened.... yep!

So whether it is all just a big coincidence or not... I still think it is a good technique to learn. Being able to settle one's mind, relax and imagine are all things that need to be cultivated.

Answers....

Braden drew a Jack - in the - Box...... It is one of the reasons I love his school so much. They teach them to draw with this little book of 4-6 steps for each picture. This was a kid who only did dots and (what I call) tornadoes until now! A Jack- in the Box!


The other picture (I guess to others) was not very obvious either. It was late at night and I was reading a friends blog about the limited number of toys that reflect children of color. She mentioned playmobile as being a company that doesn't produce ANY people of color... not even a Token.... I went to the website thinking I could call a bluff.... but she was right. In all of the various "scenes" : doctor, hospital, construction worker, vet, family etc.... not one person of color. The picture you see is their "variety pack"(add on sets)... I really don't see much variety at all.... I mean really - even here in Abilene when I walk through the mall.... its not all one color...

WARNING: Disturbing Image

Well, we made it 3 years here in Abilene before finding any snakes.... that is until today....

my lawn guy found it, chopped its head off and put it in the cup.....

he said its a baby rattler... but I can't tell... can you?

Long Overdue

Once again I find myself back-posting... meaning that a long time ago when I thought that I would have to THINK of things to post about I had this idea.... but time slipped away and actual life happened (which I posted about) SO....

You may or may not know by now that I am a movie nerd. If you don't me in person then you have been spared listening to me speak in movie quotes. Mason and I actually can have a quasi conversation with JUST QUOTES.

A few years ago I had my dream job... I worked in a video store. It was before Braden was born and we had LOTS of time on our hands... well, that and no cable. As you can imagine the ONLY perk of the job was free rentals and the ability to see a new release two days ahead of time (so that you can promote it to the customers).

I happened to have this job right around the same time DVDs were worming their way into the mainstream. We had a large VHS clientele were were very resistant to switching over. But that little fact doesn't really matter for this post.

The point is... I learned a lot about DVDs and their formatting, the viewing choices (WS or Full) etc etc.... Which brings me to the point of the post.

In most recent years I have noticed a trend with DVDs. Instead of marketing the theatrical version onto DVD they release the Unrated version instead.

Now this isn't a bad thing all around. For artsy type pieces that have to trimmed down to meet the censor (or as they call it the ratings board) it is an opportunity for the public to be able to experience the film as it was intended to be.

But these films are not what I am talking about....

Most of the popular mainstream films today SUCK... yeah, I said it... the suck. And since I have kids (and a subscription to Blockbuster via the mail) I only go and see a film it is "Big Screen Worthy". For all the other junk I just wait until I can watch it at home... because I am a loser... just not a complete loser... I try to stay up on current pop culture.

But unlike the artsy movies, where a film is made better by the added footage....these junk movies are just made that much longer and usually just more vulgar.... NOT more funny.

But tonight I saw a glimmer of hope, a ray of sunshine... I watched "The Number 23" and when I went to 'watch movie' they gave me a choice between the theatrical version and the unrated version!

A choice! Who would have thunk it! Glory Hallelujah....Now if I could only get my time back from 'the 40 year old virgin' or 'talladega nights BORB'

side note: don't waste your time with 'The Number 23' unless you want to see Jim Carrey totally cut with no shirt on.... not that I noticed or anything.... Yeah, I know.... I have said it before... I GOT ISSUES!

Braden's first REAL drawing...

I am taking a poll... can you guess what it is ?

The Good Stuff

After a VERY LONG week...I was emailing Mason, who also had a horrible week in the desert. And as I wrote I realized there is a lot to live for. So I typed down a few things off the top of my head that make life worth living... on a day to day scale.... thought I would share the list with you all.


Ice Cream
The Office Psych, any dancing show, Seinfeld
Picking Braden up from school ( big smile and hello)
Having a great conversation where I feel like I really connect with Mason, or dad, or a friend
Getting comments on my blog
Good stand-up comedy
A great movie
A delicious meal with a perfect wine
Did I mention Ice cream
Sleeping in
A perfect day at the beach
T giving me kisses
The perfect song, while driving around with the windows down
The feeling I get when I drive into St Louis and see the arch
Dancing with my husband
A hug
Snuggling with my the kids or Mason
A perfectly organized closet
Private swimming pools

Gustav Klimt

Mother & Child

Statistics

Nationally, one in every 150 births results in stillbirth.

Amazing Article - A Must Read

http://www.missingangelsbill.org/news/20031113.html

The article talks mostly about the Canadian health statistics regarding stillbirth... but then towards the end it mentions umbilical cord complications. This is what happened with William. I can even remember him 'thrashing around' a week or so before he was born. I read all of the research done by the Pregnancy Institute after William was born. And I was amazed that this information is not mainstream. Most doctors have no idea that so many deaths can be prevented.

Dr. Jason Collins, a controversial New Orleans obstetrician and president of the Pregnancy Institute, a medical research firm, believes up to 25% of stillbirths are caused by umbilical cord accidents.When women sleep, their blood pressure falls, lowering blood flow and oxygen to the baby. This can cause babies to thrash around, entangling them in the umbilical cord. But because most people are asleep between midnight and 6 a.m. they don't notice, says Dr. Collins, and that's when most babies die.

And that's a solvable problem."Most of these stillbirths, I firmly believe they're mechanical," says Dr. Collins."They're not caused by infections, they're not chromosomal. Because when they do the autopsy, they don't find anything."The reason is because when the baby is born, you pull the puzzle apart. When the baby is born you pull all the loops and positions away from where they were. And if you haven't done ultrasound prior to that, you're not going to see that."

Dr. Collins believes mothers who are 36-weeks pregnant should be given fetal monitors to keep track of their babies' heartbeats at night. If a baby goes into distress, the mother should simply get up and walk around, which would increase blood flow through the umbilical cord.

However, many doctors disagree with this theory. They say many healthy babies are born with knots in the umbilical cord. But there is universal agreement that fetal monitoring of babies whose movements have slowed down can save lives, often by doing an emergency Cesarean section.

"We don't have many stillbirths when we're monitoring [the mother] carefully, although we still have them," says Dr. Walker of the Ottawa Hospital. "The ones that you get broadsided by are the ones where you have a perfectly healthy couple, they get to 38 weeks and have decreasing movement and then the baby's dead."