Just Bragging!

Plus showing off my new scanner :-)

Kumon

About two months ago I wrote about how summer was upon us and I was hoping to get a routine/schedule together for Braden. I never really got around to making an official one, but as our days flowed into one another a schedule/routine of sorts developed.

Part of our routine was working on writing his name. I started with him tracing the letters I wrote out, then we moved onto writing the letters under my example and now I can proudly claim that he can write his own name without any prompts.

I can't remember now, but I stumbled upon KUMON workbooks while looking for age appropriate lessons for Braden. And for two months now we have sat down for 10-15 minutes every morning and worked on our books. I purchased them on Amazon and bought 3 with the 4th free. Free Shipping too! I read all the reviews that the parents gave and I would have to agree with all the positive ones. Braden loves the mazes and the cutting books. The uppercase letters and numbers are mildly interesting and it takes work to keep his attention focused. I think in the long run these will pay off. Not only have they helped his motor skills (cutting) and his problem solving (mazes) but I think it was a good start and foundation for what to expect at pre-school this year. Plus the idea of sitting a focusing attention on work for 10 minutes a day was good practice for school.

I bought a few for friends and so far they like them (they may however just be humoring me) . I know some people disagree with the KUMON system. But its worked well for us.

Living in 2007

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.
9. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
10. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

The Truth

While it is not a lie that I have been hanging out with the hubby and family obsessively I haven't mentioned the reason. Truth is, he's leaving again. Off to Iraq.

I am not complaining. Things are not slowing down AT ALL in the desert and after all of his training there was no way he would be kept home. He leaves soon. I could tell you the date, but then I would have to kill you :-)

On the up side we will be getting more money. On the downside, since Braden is starting preschool we won't be able to travel. On the upside we will save money by not traveling. On the downside all the money is going to pay for Braden's new school. (more on that later)

So for now Mason is back at work and awaiting word for when he will leave. Myself and the boys are on standby, hovering in between what was going to be life with Dad and preparing ourselves to be back to "normal" with him gone.

Not so Good

Well, as quickly as the postings started - they have slowed down....

Just hanging with the hubby.

I promise I'll be back ......

Easter Hats

I know I just posted about getting rid of stuff. But I have a confession. I am truly a pack rat. Mostly with stuff from my past and family items. But especially family stuff from the past.

Like these Easter Hats. Technically they are Styrofoam cups that 27(+) years ago my mother and I melted down in the oven and then decorated. We hung them from branches in a vase each Easter and I continued the tradition even after she died. But then my dad and I moved to St Louis and I went away to school....

When I got married I brought the hats with me to my new home. I never put them up but still I saved them. It was one of the only memories I had about my mother from when I was very little. She got sick when I was 8 and died when I was 12. These hats were a symbol of my childhood. My loving mother and that happiness I can still remember. When someone dies, ANYTHING that they had, used, touched or made becomes VERY important. Stuff that the person themselves would probably consider junk becomes a priceless family heirloom in the eye of the surviving family member. I have a huge storage bin in my dad's basement of stuff that belong to my mother.

But, in reality the hats were a junk kids craft that was hanging around in a brown paper bag.

What do you do? Keep them, moving them from house to house? Pitch them in the trash? Nah... you blog about them and then take lots of photos for your scrapbook. then quietly and with reverence gently lay them in your "toss pile".

I love these hats. Silly I am sure... but I look on these with such fondness and wonderful memories. And now they have a place of honor. No longer are they couped up inside a dusty paper bag. They are on display here... forever.

Wha'cha gonna do with all that junk?

In case you haven't heard, we had a garage sale a few weeks ago. We had SO much stuff to get rid of. We have been in this house for 3 years. My rule is (besides holiday & camping stuff) if we haven't used it in 3 years - it's out! Plus with Tristan being too big and long for a lot of his baby stuff, we had all that to get rid of also. Baby swings, and bouncys, car seats and carriers plus all baby clothes up to 12 months. Old Halloween costumes, bed sheet sets, books books and more books. It was a big project. We had over 6 tables and 2 clothes racks of stuff. We went through each room and cleaned out all the closets and cabinets. We spent over a week in the attic alone. I kept thinking to myself. What is up here? If we never use it why do we have it? It was really starting to drive me crazy. All of the stuff pushed both cars out into the driveway. Bags and boxes of stuff were just lying around for weeks.

We had a lot of people in and out of the house while we were working on this project. People who were more than willing to share their opinion with us about what we were doing. There were more than a few who expressed disagreements with our task. They couldn't understand why we were getting rid of "this" or "that". "But that is a perfectly good.....!" or "Didn't Aunt Sue give that to you?" and then ending with " You really should keep that."

No, I really shouldn't. I can't keep everything that anyone has ever given us. At least I don't think I should have too. If I am not using or enjoying it, then what is the purpose of keeping it? Plus we move every few years. Which means that each time we move our possessions are weighed and if we go over our limit we have to pay out of pocket. We don't have the luxury of keeping something "just in case".

What amazed me the most were peoples opinions about 'stuff'. We really do have strong attachments to things. We also have guilt that comes with letting stuff go. Like we are letting other people down somehow. I am sure I can speculate that these feeling and opinions are based on how and in which class we were raised and what decade we came of age. Maybe my opinion is colored by the fact that I have never wanted for anything. I have the luxury of letting things go.

In the end it was a remined how much this family is loved and supported. Most of the stuff in the garage was given to us by others. They were used well and loved much.

Tristan at 9 months

Code Name: Blue-eyed Toe Chewer
Stats: 20lbs and 29 1/2 inches long
Likes: baby einstein, swinging and his sippy cup
Dislikes: jarred baby food, being startled and getting strapped in his car seat
Catchphrase: Ya ya ya ya ya ya

Potter Puppet Pals...

I hate to admit it... but I dare say that enjoy this play a bit more than the last book. Sorry... but enjoy nonetheless!

Happy Harry Day!

I bought the book today. It was fresh out of the box. I watch the guy open the box and take one out for me. It was very exciting!

I started reading the HP books when I saw the third film and it didn't make much sense. I was going on a trip alone (after Braden weened himself) and I thought it would be a good book to take a long. I read the 4th and 5th book just this past fall while I spent A LOT of time sitting and nursing. You would think 600 pages would take awhile to go through ... but they went very fast.

I just saw the 5th movie and knew the 7th book was on its way, so I borrowed book 6 and read it last week. Book 6 was pretty much like all the other books, with a few more plot twists . BUT it was the ending.... it was almost a cliff hanger. It was like " well now I have to know what happens, we are so close to the end".

I will probably give my copy away or sell it on eBay when I am done. If I ever buy the series I will wait until it comes out as a complete set. The next question is "should I go American? or English? and if I go English do I go Children's version or Adult?" The story is the same in all three versions, just the cover art... with the exception of the first title being HP and the Philosophers Stone as the original... not sure why here they changed it to Sorcerers Stone?

Does anyone else know? Anyone?

Privilege: Just some things to think about.

I was recently reading a study about privilege and its role in society. I came across an article regarding Male Privilege. I am not a man basher, but I do think there is a difference in this world regarding how men and woman are treated. Here are a few of the "checklist" items in the article.

• I can be confident that my co-workers won't think I got my job because of my sex - even though that might be true
• If I am never promoted, it's not because of my sex.
• The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
• I am not taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces
• If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question
• If I have children and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I'm even marginally competent.
• I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented, every day, without exception.
• If I'm careless with my financial affairs it won't be attributed to my sex.
• If I'm careless with my driving it won't be attributed to my sex.
• If I have sex with a lot of people, it won't make me an object of contempt or derision.
• My wardrobe and grooming are relatively cheap and consume little time.
• If I buy a new car, chances are I'll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car.
• If I'm not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
• I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
• My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
• I am not expected to spend my entire life 20-40 pounds underweight.

Summer Movies

I am sure that there are a million blogs out there blogging about the movies that came out this summer. So just count me as 1,000,001.



First: Ocean's Thirteen - I loved Ocean's Eleven so much that in 2005 I couldn't get enough of the idea of a sequel. Ocean's Twelve, however made me sick to my stomach. They bastardized the characters, the plot was ridiculously hard to follow and the whole Julia Roberts looking like Julia Roberts ruined the storytelling. Ocean's Thirteen was much better and probably what 12 should have been. But still it wasn't 11. To be honest I am obsessed with Ocean's Eleven. I have seen it over a hundred times and I have seen it dubbed in french. Everything about 11 is amazing. The music, the pace, the cinematography. Nothing feels forced, you care about the characters. Great heist movie. As for 13? See it if you are a fan of 11. If you haven't seen any of them. Rent 11 and then call it quits.

I already talked about Spiderman and I refused to see Pirates of Caribbean based on principle. But I did go see Live Free or Die Hard. All I can say is " go see it". If you were even tempted, briefly thought about or just curious - GO, you won't be disappointed.

Of course I had to go see Harry Potter. I have not liked the Harry Potter movies since the first one (even though I keep going to the theater and watching). It wasn't until the 3rd that I figured out why. The books are so long now, that to pack all the plot into a 2 hour movie, they leave stuff out which makes the movie story hard to follow. So now I am a reader of the books. Borrowed books. They are an easy read and quite fun. But because I am self proclaimed movie nerd.... I had to go see it (plus my mother in law was in town= free babysitting!). I felt the same about it as I did all the other HP movies, see it if you are a fan... read the book to understand what all the hubbub is about.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - the problems with this movie are basically the same as with Spiderman (except for running time). I may be old fashioned but I don't think super heros and their villains should sit down and talk things out (that is for the real world... not movie land).


*Sigh* Another summer wasted...

I'm Back Baby!

Well kind of.

In the past 4 weeks after getting back from Vegas I have been a bit busy with nothing and everything all at once.

• Braden turned 4 - and my parents came up for the party and a visit.
• We had a two day garage sale- made about $900!
• Spent 2 weeks prior to garage sale rummaging through the house sorting out junk and organizing everything.
• Mason's Mom came up last week for a week long visit.
• I read the 6th Harry Potter book - to get ready for this weekend.

I guess now that I write it out it doesn't seem like much. But trust me when I tell you IT WAS. This is my last week with Mason home. He goes back to work on Monday. I have so many things I want to blog about.... I just keep doing other stuff... Hopefully I will get my "rear in gear" as they say!

Would You Like Fries with That - Part Deux

Just in case anyone was keeping track.

I went to Best Buy a few weeks ago to by a new printer/scanner/fax/copier machine (which by the way... I am in love with).

As I go to check out I notice a couple of magazines sitting on the counter. EW, People... That kind of thing. I made a passing comment to the clerk about a Justin Timberlake article to which she replies "With your purchase today, if you are interested you can sign up to have any off these titles mailed to you with a subscription price that is very low."

I just laughed and laughed... I think she thought I was insane!

Lullaby - Take a Listen

They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade


How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up


I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

Martha

Martha my dear, this post is long overdue.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!


My friend Martha. I can still remember the first day I met her. It was the beginning of September here in Abilene 2004. I was brand new to the town. It was my first wives meeting in our new squadron. At one point in the night we were all sitting around chatting. Somehow the conversation turned to children and chicken pox. I stated that I was going to try and get my son exposed naturally instead of giving him the shot. Immediately one lady spoke up chastising my opinion. She thought that it was reckless and that vaccines were perfectly safe blah blah blah. She told all of us that she was a nurse (as if that somehow gave more credibility to her opinion over mine) and that I really didn't know what the heck I was talking about. I had no response. I understood that my opinion was different from most and by now I was very used to getting my ideas shot down. (side note: somehow that has never stopped me from sharing my ideas/opinions... slow learner I guess). But then, something happened. A girl I did not know spoke up, she countered the nurses opinion and supported my idea. Her name was Martha.

Martha and I did not become fast friends. I was a stay at home mom, she was a professional working everyday. We weren't really running into each other that often. But as luck would have it our husbands became roommates overseas in the dessert. They got along famously. It was all I heard about for awhile Johnathan this Johnathan that... So I gave Martha a call. Our first "date" (if I remember correctly) was the movie Phantom of the Opera and dinner at Zookini's.

The rest, as they say - is history.

Martha is an amazing person and friend. She is one of the most loyal people I know. She and I always have the best time. We were/are Monkafiles together and great movie buddies (nothing is too bizzare :-) ). She is funny and sensitive. And like with all good friends, I feel like we really "get" one another.

In the short 2 years of our friendship we have been through the good & bad and two pregnancies! Her little girl is seriously the cutest baby I've ever seen!

She moved away right before Tristan was born. But because she loves me so much (LOL) she has been back to visit twice now! The last time she came was in April. She and her little girl came to Abilene for a visit and spent the night. I had all these plans to blog about the visit and how much fun I had hanging out with my friend again. But as you can tell that never happened. Something else that never has happened (that I know of) is a picture being taken of us... I couldn't find ANY pictures of us together.... I remember wanting to take some while she was here, but with three kids running around we got a bit sidetracked.

So, here is another long overdue post about a wonderful friend who has moved away... Martha, I miss you too!

Missing My Friend

May 21st 2007

This was the last time I hung out with Jen. My big plan was to write a post when she left. But life happened and I didn't. But, as she reminded me, she is a good friend :-) and I miss her much. So here it goes...

At the end of May, Jen invited me out to her house for one last girls night. I packed up both boys and headed out for a night of American Idol, That Thing you Do and brownies. The blissful 4 hours between the kids going to bed and Tristan waking up screaming was great! But T decided he didn't like his rented pack n' play and stayed up all night telling us about it. So I headed out at 6am. I felt cheated!

So I begged Jen to leave her kiddos with the hubby and drive an hour and a half just to hang out with me one last time. And, since she is a good friend.... she did! The boys went down early. So we had a great time talking, drinking some wine and watching "You've Got Mail" (I know I owe everyone my own review).

It was awesome. But now she has moved to the far reaches of the universe. So until I save up enough green stamps to get me to Granola-ville and back I will be missing my friend.

Learning Curve - another long post.

I've had 3 babies in 4 years. I discovered I was pregnant with my first, Braden, in October of 2002. Tristan, my last was born in October 2006. Funny how it happened that way. During those 4 years not only was I pregnant and birthing children, but a majority of my friends were too. My friend Beth and I were pregnant the same time as each other for all three of our babies.

I feel like I have been pretty well educated regarding pregnancy and birth. I have had many conversations with MANY women about it. Home birth, natural birth, vaginal birth, scheduled c-sections, emergency c-sections and adoption. In the past four years I have been treated, seen or spoken to at length: family practice doctors, nurse-midwives, regular midwives, OB doctors, nurses and doulas. I read books: The American Way of Birth Pregnancy Childbirth and the Newborn The Birth Partner The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and I skimmed through Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way . This list doesn't include all of pop-culture books were are told to read (which I did) Girlfriends guide to Pregnancy, What to Expect when you're Expecting, Etcetera... Etcetera... Etcetera...

All three of my children were born in different hospitals with very differing circumstances. Braden: slow to start very long (48 hours) almost completely natural birth ... William: induced at 39 1/2 weeks stillbirth 8 hours long (epidural yes, drugs no). Tristan: induced at 38 1/2 weeks 13 hours of labor followed by a c-section at 1am.

I originally wanted to have Braden at home, even though midwifery is illegal in Illinois. I settled on seeing a nurse-midwife that the military provided. Halfway through my care, she got transferred. She was the one who recommend Dr. Smith, a family practice resident. To be doubly safe I hired a doula. After much interviewing via phone and researching I settled on a doula who specialized in home birth but who was willing to go to the hospital. I wanted someone there who would have the techniques and experience of dealing with a completely natural birth. Unfortunately she was horrible. She came equipped with her 'hot sock" and her birth ball. That was it. All the stories of massage and acupressure(which she was trained in) and support that I had read and heard about had prepared me to trust this woman who was at my side. For 48 hours she was more of a pain and a nuisance. At one point SHE broke down crying, fearing that we were going to lose Braden. It was a nightmare. I eventually reported her to Doulas of North America. It took two long years to go through the license revoking process, during which time DONA began to understand how messed up she was.

After moving to Texas and getting pregant with William I was totally freaked out by the unusually high percentage of c-sections in the Abilene area. So, I met with a midwife to persue the homebirth option again. But after several conversations I started to loose faith in the "all natural path" of birth. I think she just reminded me too much of Barb. I started to think that all these people had no idea what they were talking about. I asked her for a recogmendation for a doctor and went on my way.

I loved Dr. Martin, in a lot of ways he reminded me of Dr. Smith. He had a wonderfuly casual and natrual approach to pregancy and birth. It was a very easy and quick pregancy. I had one ultra-sound at 20 weeks (thanks Tri-Care). Everything was normal and perfect ( or so we thought). Wednesday the 13th of April I woke up in the middle of the night to go the bathroom. Not much unsuall there. But unlike the dribble amount usally produced, out came (what felt like) 2 gallons of urine. I didn't think much about it then, and now that I look back on the situation I can't believe I wasn't paying better attention. I didn't notice anthing was wrong until that Friday when I stepped on the scale at the doctors office and I had lost 4 pounds. Bells started going off. I waited on the exam table for Dr. Martin to come in. He arrived. I took his picture for William's baby book. We sat down to talk. " I lost 4 pounds"I said "That's okay" he reassured me "How do you feel?" "Fine" I replied "I am sure there is nothing to worry about. Lets get you on the table for a listen."

He laid me back and I lifted up my shirt. He turned the doppler on and placed it low on my tummy. Nothing. No noise, just that empty hissing of the machine. My heart started to pound. "Has he flipped this week?" Dr. Martin asks. I say "No" and as the word escapes my lips I know there is something wrong. The nurse sees the panic in my eyes. Dr. Martin moves the doppler around on my stomach calmly, but now with a sense of urgency and purpose. " No, No, No" I say as I try to sit up. They guide me back down. We all wait, straining to hear that familar lub-lub of the fetal heart. But all that comes is silence and the hiss of the doppler. I start screaming, the room starts spining. We call Mason.

October 2006:A year and a half later I am at the hospital waiting to be induced with Tristan. I have asked for Cervadil and we are waiting on Dr. Anderson to come and administer it. There is an uneasy feeling about being in a L& D room again. Everyone is attentive and confident that this will be a quick easy labor. Mason and I are aprehensive and worried.

Tristan had been moniterd closely during the whole pregancy. I had an ultra sound every other visit. I counted his and logged his movement starting early. His growth was normal and good. No cord complcations could be seen. Fluid levels were great, heart beat strong. And yet we were scared.

Dr Anderson, a traditional OB doc, was always very reasurring. He never dismissed my fears or questions. He seemed very confident that Tristan would be an easy and quick labor. I had my doubts, but still I tried to relax and have faith in my doctor. I had asked for Cervadil. It had worked so well with William, and I didn't want a repeat of Braden. Dr. A didn't think I needed it, but agreed to use it anyway. I can remember the second before he broke my water... I thought "WAIT" but I didn't say anything. I had been wrong with each of my pregancies before I figured with 20 years under his belt he would know a thing or two. I sat there leaking fluid and having mild contractions. I laid down. They stopped. I sat up they started again. I should have know what was going on. But my nurse nor Dr. A seemed to think it was odd. I got up and walked around un-hooked from my monitor for over 30 minutes. That got things going pretty well. But when they caught me and I sat back down the contractions stooped. I squatted, rotated my hips and sat in the rocking chair. On, off. On, off. Pitocin up, contractions then nothing... After 8 hours of labor I was at 5cm dilated 50% effaced and a -1 to -2 station. I really didn't want an epidural. Although it was a lifesaver with William I had had a few complications and wanted to steer clear. At night Dr Anderson suggests and epidural so that they can "really jack up" the pitocin levels. I said yes. I know what that feels like without one. Epidural in... bring on the shakes. Shakes? in come the warm blankets. After 4 hours with the epidural I remain the same. No progress. Dr. Anderson wants me to keep going through the night. I am exhausted. I had not eaten all day. I cannot stop the shaking, no matter what I tell them, no one seems to have a cure for the shaking. At 11pm I call it. I tell the nurse, to page Dr. Anderson. I am not going anywhere. No one has any idea what else to do other than keep me lying there. Lets get this show on the road. 2 hours later at 1:19am Tristan is born. Later the doctor tells me that he thinks Tristan's head was too big. I didn't buy it.

Someday I will write about c-sections. But not today.

Even after all these experiences I still have so many questions. Why was I given Cervadil with William but not Braden? Why didn't Tristan descend? Why couldn't they tell that William was in distress ... Why couldn't I? Why did they think my water was broken with Braden? and how come breaking my water with Tristan didn't do anything?

How could I have prepared myself better? How much more should I have read? What else should I have done so that I could have prevented the surgery? How do millions of women have children each year in this country and so many of us have no idea what we are doing?

Birth is completely foreign. No woman that I knew had ever experienced it before having her own children. None of us knew anything about it. We all learned about it after the fact. Not much good that does us. We don't educate ourselves, because we are sent the message that there is nothing to educated us about. That all these doctors nurses (and now doulas) working with the techniques and medicines will take of it all for us. And yet, we are all so different. Our bodies and babies are different. Why in the world do we buy into the fact that all labors will be the same. That if you follow steps 1 2 and 3 your baby will be delivered perfectly.

Women need to be told, educated completley. None of this "big head" stuff. Tell us what is really going on. Let us learn and make informed decisions.

I thought that is what I was doing, but now I wonder.... how steep is this learning curve?